Week of September 6, 2010

[String]

Thanks to Tim for this weeks caption picture. All your best captions in the categories of Ripper, Non-Ripper and Howard Brown:

[Tracy Ianson]

I don't think I can come up with anything better than the owner of the store did :pound:

Tj

[Robert Linford]

I say, I say, I say. A Chinese cannibal killer ate his wife.

He ate his wife? What was her name?

Charmaine.

[admin tim]

"I've just come out of there. They stock nothing but the works of Karen Trenouth, and they're all in Mandarin."

[Stephen Thomas]

A Chinese lady had a Europian looking baby and the husband got a divorce on the grounds that two Wongs don't make a white.

[Robert Linford]

I wouldn't say my wife's fat, but she has more chins than a Beijing telephone directory.

[Stephen Thomas]

Fook Hing Hell

[Robert Linford]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w3X95uWv8A

[String]

The only place in the US to stock the new A to Z.

[Adam Went]

A covert attempt at getting more business for Amazon.

Discover within: The entire collection of Mills & Boone.

Cheers,
Adam.

[tel]

Now we know where How buys his captions.

[Nemo]

New outlet opened for porno magazines featuring Miss Wong



"Can I have a copy of "The Psychic Investigation", please? I'm looking into the Ripper crimes in more detail"
"You've come to the right place..."

[Stephen Thomas]

It was only when Howard noticed that all the books were printed in Chinese that he realised he was in the Wong Fook Hing Book Shop.

[Caroline Morris]

Prince Philip, during televised visit to bookstore: "Tell me, my little yellow friend. If I purchase one of your fook hing books, will I go all slitty-eyed and want to read another one in half an hour?"

Bookseller (to camera): "Sirry fooking iriot".

[Robert Linford]

Eventually, at the height of the hysteria, the Government moved to combat yellow journalism. Sgt Thick misunderstood....

[Caroline Morris]

Ripper related:

Exclusive - the latest Wong Fook Hing Theory:

"If Jack the Lipper reary existed, and lipped more than two plostitutes, I'm a Chinaman."

[Robert Linford]

Having heard that the Ripper might be a Malay cook, Sgt Thick searched every far eastern establishment for a Malaysian man named Cook.

[String]

Voice from inside shop:
"Sarry Mr Brown we have no Big assed girls left"
"Will Big girls down under do?"
"Ok put it into a Brown paper back"

[Caroline Morris]

Brown related:

"I say, Holmes. Do you not think that The Wong Fook Hing Book Store Mystery would make a capital title for one of our stories, with a spicy oriental slant?"

"No, my dear Watson, I do not. The name of this shop is but a vulgar schoolboy jape, painted in a round schoolboy hand by that vulgar round schoolboy, Howard Brown."

"Why, Holmes, how the devil do you know this?"

"Because, Watson, I have just seen the tenth Chinese customer enter the shop to return his wong fook hing book and heard the proprietor say: 'How come'."

"Ha ha ha, so it's a lemon entry then Holmes."

"Dammit, Watson, that's my line."

[Livia Trivia]

Ripper:

Having discounted all the usual suspects, Ripperologists
seek yet another unlikely culprit.


Non-Ripper:

Mr Hing: No, this is not Border's. You have reached
the Wong Fook Hing Book Store.

Caller: No need to be vulgar, pal.



How Brown:

Spotting the banner over the door, How could not resist
the lure of $1 ben wa balls.

[How Brown]

Whoa ! That was a shot, Livia. Nice one.
That will be archived and I must reciprocate at some point in time, dear lady...
Watch your back baby !:heh:

[Robert Linford]

Having gazed at the photo for some minutes, Howard came up with a brand new theory : Jack the Ripper was nothing more than a very sloppy Chinese acupuncturist.

[How Brown]

Yeah, and I've had a rotta rotten ruck in convincing anyone:tsk: .

[String]

Ok not as quick as the Tories can devastate the country but much quicker than the Lib Dems can work out they've been suckered here's this weeks results:

RIPPER
:first: Caroline "Exclusive - the latest Wong Fook Hing Theory:"
:second: Robert "Having heard that the Ripper might be a Malay cook, Sgt Thick searched"
:third: Livia "Having discounted all the usual suspects, Ripperologists"

NON-RIPPER
:first: Robert "I wouldn't say my wife's fat, but she has more chins"
:second: Stephen "A Chinese lady had a Europian looking baby and the husband got a divorce"
:third: Adam "Discover within: The entire collection of Mills & Boone."

HOWARD BROWN
:first: Tel "Now we know where How buys his captions."
:second: Livia "Spotting the banner over the door, How could not resist "
:third: Robert "Having gazed at the photo for some minutes, Howard came up with a brand new theory"