Week of September 13, 2010

[String]

Ok this weeks picture is one of the more popular pastimes in the Colonies.
Best captions in the categories Ripper, Non-Ripper and Howard Brown:

[How Brown]

Oh look ! Its The Miss Surrey beauty pageant !

[Raven]

Oh look ! Its The Miss Surrey beauty pageant !
Are you sure you don't mean Miss Slurry, Howard? Lol x

[Adam Went]

"Be careful, ladies! It's pretty dirty and polluted in there, you might die from the vapours!" :whistle:

Cheers,
Adam.

[tel]

How's fantasy - mud rasslin' with 4 young lovelies.

[How Brown]

Here's mud in yer eye,Tel.
Thats the same sort of Texas toehold I'd put on Caz or Ali ifn' we wuz rolling in mud.
Surrey has some strange requirements for achieving desirability from the menfolk in that neck of the woods,doesn't it ?
Oh wait...Caz is from Surrey isn't she ?:playball:

[Caroline Morris]

"Be careful, ladies! It's pretty dirty and polluted in there, you might die from the vapours!" :whistle:


Here's mud in yer eye,Tel.
Thats the same sort of Texas toehold I'd put on Caz or Ali ifn' we wuz rolling in mud.
Surrey has some strange requirements for achieving desirability from the menfolk in that neck of the woods,doesn't it ?
Oh wait...Caz is from Surrey isn't she ?:playball:

At least Surrey women's senses can tell the difference between mud and what comes out of male backsides. :nod:

Here, they are trying to teach How the difference, but he is clearly as happy as a pig in shi*, even though he's only wallowing in glorious mud. :whistle:

[Caroline Morris]

If you thought female working conditions couldn't get any tougher than they were in Jack the Ripper's day, check out How Brown's workforce, trying to make silk purses out of sow's ears for a pittance.

[Robert Linford]

Howard has a healthy appetite, and preparing his breakfast is always a problem.

[Robert Linford]

The experiment of using bloodpigs to sniff out the scent at 29 Hanbury St proved unsatisfactory.

[Robert Linford]

In the latest wacky marriage idea from the C of E - porcine weddings - a male pig is reluctant to plight his trough.

[String]

Howard likes his females all dirty, the ladies aren't bad either.


This Organic farming craze has gone too far.


Wayne Rooney gets down and dirty with the girls.

[Robert Linford]

Having heard the expression " a pig in a poke" Howard unfortunately got it the wrong way round, and was arrested.

[Caroline Morris]

Brown related:

"Just a small prick", said the nurse reassuringly, as Howard stepped up eagerly for his swine floozie jab.

Ripper related:

"Yes yes, four women mud-wrestling a pig is by far the most likely explanation for the origins of the Lusk kidney. I feel another nonsensical post coming on."

Non-ripper related:

On the Isle of Wight yesterday, they tackled the swine that had just beaten them at Scrabble.

[Robert Linford]

WARNING : SEXIST JOKE COMING UP

The little piggy who built his house of bricks found that it held off the big bad wolf, but it was no defence against four nosey women.

[tel]

Being set upon by four dirty women was a recurring nightmare for How.

[String]

Being set upon by four dirty women was a recurring fantasy for String.

[Robert Linford]

The women who went along for the mud pack treatment at the beauty salon Howard recently opened, complained at the way in which the mud was applied. In fact it seemed to them to be less about beauty than catching How's breakfast.

[How Brown]

I had to apply an icepack to the old sack tonight....all these unwarranted shots were pretty damned good.

But...alas... in the end,$tring will $how hi$ talent a$ caption judge and do the right thing.

Caption two $tring....remember caption two.

[Phil Carter]

Ripper related:-

A pig's ear in the rub-a-dub deflects the thought of the lack of doss money at Crossingham's...

(translation for all non-cockney speakers.. A beer in the pub deflects...)

Non-Ripper:-

Rub-a dub-dub four girls in the tub, and who do you think they were...?

Howard related:-

They said it would be wine women and song... I swear!

[Caroline Morris]

Being set upon by four dirty women was a recurring nightmare for How.

Howard wiped his glasses then demanded a recount. After his dip with five dirty women he had settled for the hairy one with no clothes on and now had sore misgivings.

[Caroline Morris]

Howard found himself up in court when he tried his first "bacon butty" and called for "more sauce".

[tel]

Swine and Women and Song? Well, two outta three ain't bad!

[Nemo]

I showed that photo to a friend and we both found it hard to decide which one to spit roast...



Man:"WTF are you doing rolling around in the mud with that?"
Pig: "I won this opportunity in a raffle"

[Caroline Morris]

Swine and Women and Song? Well, two outta three ain't bad!

Swine, women and pong, Tel. So one out of three - loosely.

[Caroline Morris]

Ripper & Brown related:

How couldn't decide which one he wanted to take home first - the cute little piggy or Pearly Poll.

After a couple of hours pondering the question he made up his mind and winked at Poll.

It was a case of Pearly before swine.

[How Brown]

Caz,my darling....
I must have hit a nerve with you,you unrequited love.
I like it when you get riled up...your nostrils flare,the pheremones are off the chart, you compare me to a pig...
Three outta three ain't bad.:thumb:

[String]

Ok thanks for posting all your captions this week again. Here are the results:

RIPPER
:first: Caroline "Yes yes, four women mud-wrestling a pig is by far the most likely explanation for the origins of the Lusk kidney"
:second: Phil "A pig's ear in the rub-a-dub deflects the thought of the lack of doss money at Crossingham's..."
:third: Robert "The experiment of using bloodpigs to sniff out the scent at 29 Hanbury St proved unsatisfactory."

NON-RIPPER
:first: Howard "Oh look ! Its The Miss Surrey beauty pageant !"
:second: Adam "Be careful, ladies! It's pretty dirty and polluted in there, you might die from the vapours!"
:third: Robert "The little piggy who built his house of bricks found that it held off the big bad wolf, but it was no defence against four nosey women."

HOWARD BROWN
:first: Caroline "Just a small prick"
:second: Tel "Being set upon by four dirty women was a recurring nightmare for How."
:third: Phil "They said it would be wine women and song... I swear!"

[How Brown]

HOWARD BROWN
:first: Caroline "Just a small prick"

Ain't we got a rule against personal insults on this site even if they're spot on ?
I've gotta sit back farther away from the monitor,I guess.

[Caroline Morris]

LOL!

(And two out of three of these :first: ain't bad!)