The Oldest Joke in the World

[admin tim]

http://www.everything2.com/title/World%2527s+oldest+joke

Howard snuffed his joke forum, so here it is.

[Currerbell]

I dont really find that one funny!

[Archaic]

What I find mildly interesting is that when MEN write the jokes, they all tend to be about the same thing.

[Currerbell]

Whats that? Farts?

[Robert Linford]

Have you heard of the world's oldest suicide? Found in Palestine, a 3000 year old skeleton clutching a note reading "Ten thousand shekels on Goliath."

[Currerbell]

Robert its a bit late for me and I dont get it!:banghead:

[Archaic]

Whats that? Farts?

LOL!

Near enough


Hey, Robert, I get it...

and it leads me to fear that your summer recess from cleaning has left you with way too much time on your hands

[Currerbell]

Arch - u get it? Please explains so I can proceed in splitting my sides as I laugh...

[Sam Flynn]

What I find mildly interesting is that when MEN write the jokes, they all tend to be about the same thing.Although Adam became the world's first stand-up, we at least know that his act couldn't have contained any mother-in-law jokes.

[admin tim]

Hey, I didn't say it was the world's BEST joke.

Good one, Robert. I get it.

Technically, Archaic, they tend to be about one of two things - sex or some scatological humor. Of course, that's the young bucks we're talking about. We older, more mature types find humor in other subjects, although it was pretty funny to hear about Howard's prostate, I have to admit.

[Sam Flynn]

it was pretty funny to hear about Howard's prostate, I have to admit.Never poke fun at a prostate. In fact, never poke it at all...

[Robert Linford]

Ah, well how about this one from Dave Allen :

Three Englishmen were discussing the meaning of sophistication.

The first one says, "Sophistication is when a man comes home, opens the bedroom door and finds a man making love to his wife. He closes the door and leaves without a word. That is sophistication."

The second man says, "No, no. Sophistication is when a man opens the bedroom door to find a man making love to his wife. He says 'I'm so sorry. carry on.' That is sophistication."

The third man says, "Not at all. Sophistication is when a man opens the bedroom door to find a man making love to his wife. He says 'I'm so sorry, carry on.' And if you CAN carry on, then that is sophistication."

[Archaic]

Hey Sam, did you ever lie awake at night wondering if Adam & Eve had navels?

It was a serious theological puzzle in the Middle Ages- they were supposed to be physically perfect & complete, yet had no umbilical cords...

bet there were Medieval jokes about that

[Robert Linford]

Physically perfect? Adam was colour blind and thought he was eating an orange. He's still trying to claim compensation on that.

[Archaic]

OK, Robert, try this one:

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?


A: No one knows; it's never happened.

[Robert Linford]

I think that's probably because the women always finish it and have to start on the next one.

Also, let's face it, the less time one gets to actually be in the bathroom, the less opportunity one has for changing the rolls.

[Sam Flynn]

OK, Robert, try this one:

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?


A: No one knows; it's never happened.
That's our revenge for women's habit of leaving one solitary square of toilet-paper on the cardboard tube :)

[Currerbell]

We only leave it as a test to see if you actually will break the world record and RUDDY CHANGE IT!!!!!

[Sam Flynn]

Also, let's face it, the less time one gets to actually be in the bathroom, the less opportunity one has for changing the rolls.Plus, as is well-known, women always go to the bathroom in pairs.

[Currerbell]

Well if men went in pairs we would assume you were gay! ;-)

[Archaic]

Also, let's face it, the less time one gets to actually be in the bathroom, the less opportunity one has for changing the rolls.

TOUCHE!!!!! (can't find my little French accent thingy, so just imagine it)

:fencing: :fencing: :fencing: :fencing: :fencing:

PS: I just put a Man Joke on the "Sure" thread

[Archaic]

Plus, as is well-known, women always go to the bathroom in pairs.

Also true!!!! :high5:

You boys are sharp today; what's got into you?

There was an old Saturday Night Live skit about 2 couples in a restaurant; the 2 ladies head off for the Powder Room & are gone for so incredibly long that the men start to imagine what they could possibly be doing in there for all that time... I'll see if I can find it.

[Currerbell]

Oxymorons

In reverse order, here are 50 oxymorons to brighten your week. 50. Act naturally 49. Found missing 48. Resident alien 47. Advanced BASIC 46. Genuine imitation 45. Airline food 44. Good grief 43. Same difference 42 Almost exactly 41. Government organization 40. Sanitary landfill 39. Alone together 38. Legally drunk 37. Silent scream 36. British fashion 35. Living dead 34. Small crowd 33. Business ethics 32. Soft rock 31. Butt head 30. Military intelligence 29. Software documentation 28. New York culture 27. Extinct life 26. Sweet sorrow 25. Childproof 24. “Now, then...” 23. Synthetic natural gas 22. Christian scientists 21. Passive aggression 20. Taped live 19. Clearly misunderstood 18. Peace force 17. New classic 16. Temporary tax increase 15. Italian Army 14. Plastic glasses 13. Terribly pleased 12. Computer security 11. Political science 10. Tight slacks 9. Definite maybe 8. Pretty ugly 7. Twelve-ounce pound cake 6. Diet ice cream 5. Rap music 4. Working vacation 3. Exact estimate 2. Religious tolerance
And the NUMBER ONE top OXY-Moron 1. Microsoft Works