Week of September 7th - September 13th

[Debbie D]

Wow folks, Carmine and I have a great image for you this week. I hope we have some great Brown and Most Foul captions.

Post your best Ripper, Non-Ripper, Brown, and Caption Most Foul for this image.

6739

[How Brown]

I dunno...I don't like figure skating or the fruitcakes who do that sort of thing....there's too much grace & finesse involved for my liking.:banghead:

I'll say..."Two Iceholes".

[Debbie D]

I'll say..."Two Iceholes".

Every week, I post a spectacular image and almost every week Howards f#$% it up. Why do I bother???
:doh: :nono: :banghead::faint:

[tel]

Satan and helper just after How wrote a good caption

[Caroline Morris]

Most Foul

"I say, Miss Mills. It's so much easier taking you up the 'Oxo Tower' now you only have the one leg."

[Robert Linford]

When Howard was very young and starting to find out about girls, he wasn't sure which end to approach first.

An unmended hole in the window meant a freezing winter for the new tenants of Kelly's room.

[How Brown]

Ripper related

"Hey McCarthy ! Howzabout turnin' on the f%$#ing heat !?!

[How Brown]

Ripper related:

Lawn jockeys in front of Tumbelty's Bar Harbor,Me. "retreat"...The Linford Arms.

[admin tim]

Partaking of a late autumn knee-trembler outdoors in 1888 London was riskier than many had imagined.

[Robert Linford]

Doctors reported a sudden upsurge in albinism.

[Jon Simons]

People of the future will be obsessed with picking up litter, claim scientists

[Sam Flynn]

JTR-related: A visiting officer of the Irish Constabulary and his wife reconstruct the "window-trick", making a mental note to use an already-broken pane of glass next time.

Non-related: When frigidity and Tantric Sex collide.


Brown-related (you all know the tune, so sing along)

In the bleak Midwinter, frosty winds made moan
Up poor Howard's trousers, and froze his balls to stone.
They dropped out of his boxers and rolled along the floor,
And now he isn't half the man he claims he was before.

In vain he tried to save them with glue and string and nails,
But they simply hung and festered like shrivelled garden snails.
The moral to this story is stark and crystal-clear:
Be sure to keep your nadgers warm at this cold time of year.

[Archaic]

Brown-related (you all know the tune, so sing along)

In the bleak Midwinter, frosty winds made moan
Up poor Howard's trousers, and froze his balls to stone.
They dropped out of his boxers and rolled along the floor,
And now he isn't half the man he claims he was before.

In vain he tried to save them with glue and string and nails,
But they simply hung and festered like shrivelled garden snails.
The moral to this story is stark and crystal-clear:
Be sure to keep your nadgers warm at this cold time of year.

Sam, are you sure you didn't steal this from Dylan Thomas? :)

[Sam Flynn]

Sam, are you sure you didn't steal this from Dylan Thomas?
Thomas rarely went in for obviously rhyming verse, Arch. When he did, as in this little-known "Pub Poem", he lost his usual dark demeanour and showed how bawdy and funny he must have been in real life:

Some lights go on; some men go out; some men slip in;
Some girls lie down, calling the beer-brown bulls to sin
And boom among their fishy fields; some elders stand
With thermoses and telescopes and spy the sand
Where farmers plough by night, and sailors rock and rise,
Tattooed with texts, between the Atlantic thighs
Of Mrs Rosser (tea) and Little Nell the Knock:
One pulls out "Pam In Paris" from his money-sock;
One, from the mothy darkness of his black back-house,
Drinks vinegar and paraffin and blinds a mouse;
One reads his cheque-book in the dark and eats some bread;
One creeps into the Cross Inn and fouls the bed;
One in the rubbered hedges rolls with a bald Liz
Who's old enough to be his mother (and she is!);
Customers in the snug-bar by the gob-green logs
Tell other customers what they do with dogs.
The chemist is performing an unnatural act
In the organ loft, and the lavatory is packed.


I now return you to the caption competition...

[tel]

'Iceman' The Musical.

[Brad McGinnis]

Who says Siamese twins arent cool?

[How Brown]

Archaic...

Thanks for encouraging Sam to wax upon the Welsh. I fell asleep reading his paen to me in the first post he added those umbelical parameters or didactic scimitars or whatever they call those things in poems....

I'll remember that...you Icehole.:kiss:

[Archaic]

I think they're called pedantic pentameters or obstetric ureters or something, How.

And it's a bit mean of you to call Sam's lovely poem a pain.

[Caroline Morris]

"Has my postillion just been struck by lightning?"

"No, that's my nise sharp icicle love."

[Robert Linford]

One for the Brits :

Persil washes whiter. And it shows.

[Currerbell]

Torvile and Dean attempt a comeback...reviewers said its a slippery slope...

[Robert Linford]

Critics felt that Currerbell's production "Wuthering Heights On Ice" lacked a certain authenticity.

[Archaic]

The sad result of attempting to huff Liquid Nitrogen for Erotic purposes.

[Archaic]

Cryogenics has come so far that nowadays you don't even have to be dead,
much less lying down to be processed.

(But it does necessitate a larger vat.)

[Caroline Morris]

"And here we have two up and coming new artistes, Scott and Alex, recreating Scott of the Arseantics and Ice Cold in Alex."

[Caroline Morris]

Jack Frost and Alice McKenzie in 'Evicerate this'.

Watch out for the sequel: There's No Business Like Snow Business.

[Brad McGinnis]

Obamas health care reforms meets a chilly reception by several members of Congress.

[Brad McGinnis]

When asked about former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin's bid for the 2012 Presidential nomination, Senator Al Franken, (D Minn.) said, "I'm backing her."

[Robert Linford]

The question everyone is asking : did Michael Jackson father these two?

[Caroline Morris]

"Can't you pump a bit quicker, Tarquin? I'm freezing my tits off here."

[Caroline Morris]

Cold comfort.

[Robert Linford]

Scientists issue the grimmest alert yet on global warming : any more heat, and Howard Brown could be re-activated.

[Currerbell]

On the contrary my dear Linford, global cooling now means its possible to skate from New York to Liverpool...

[Archaic]

Abberline was baffled...

The killer had drained all of the blood from the victims' bodies
and then posed them in a very peculiar manner.

[Archaic]

The Tu'penny Upright has fallen out of favor since the Yoga craze hit Whitechapel.

Exhausted streetwalkers with aching backs complain that now all their customers
are demanding the Threepenny Downward Dog.

[Archaic]

Why do you think that they call it Turning Tricks?

[Robert Linford]

Currerbell's latest production, "Titanic on Ice," was deemed in very poor taste.

[tel]

... especially before it was renamed from 'Titan Uranus on Ice'

[Rob Clack]

Currerbell's latest production, "Titanic on Ice," was deemed in very poor taste.

You mean it didn't go down well? :)

[Archaic]

A single snowflake as viewed through the Hubble Space Telescope.

[Debbie D]

RIPPER
:first: Archaic "Abberline was baffled...The killer had drained all of the blood from the victims' bodies and then posed them in a very peculiar manner."
:second: Robert Linford "An unmended hole in the window meant a freezing winter for the new tenants of Kelly's room."
:third: Admin Timmers "Partaking of a late autumn knee-trembler outdoors in 1888 London was riskier than many had imagined."

NON RIPPER
:first: Brad McGinnis "Who says Siamese twins arent cool?"
:second: Robert Linford "Doctors reported a sudden upsurge in albinism."
Tel, this is the last week I'm gonna let ya win with a Titan Uranus line!!!!!!:kiss:
:third: Tel "... especially before it was renamed from 'Titan Uranus on Ice'"


BROWN RELATED
:first: Robert Linford "When Howard was very young and starting to find out about girls, he wasn't sure which end to approach first."
:second:Tel "Satan and helper just after How wrote a good caption"
:third: Robert Linford "Scientists issue the grimmest alert yet on global warming : any more heat, and Howard Brown could be re-activated."


CAPTION MOST FOUL
:puke: Caroline Morris "I say, Miss Mills. It's so much easier taking you up the 'Oxo Tower' now you only have the one leg."

[How Brown]

You gotta be fahuckin' kiddin' me....:banghead:

The three potato heads who went win,place,and dough in Debbie's pocket ahead of me...all were less as good as mine was.