Week of September 21st, 2009

[Debbie D]

:sorry: I can't upload pics for some reason, so as soon as it's fixed I'll post the image here. :sorry:

[Currerbell]

Should we write a caption anyway and hope it matches what every the photo will be????!!!!!!!! ;-)

[WRITEFX]

Currerbell, it should be easy with a How related caption lOL (sorry How)

[Currerbell]

heheh, you go first then! LOL :first:

[WRITEFX]

How had been seen taking an unhealthy interest in teapot blowing while working undercover with Inspector Abberline in the Whitechapel Bathing Rooms.

[Currerbell]

LOL

How decided to leave the bedbaths to Nurse Currerbell....after the mix up between bubble bath and baked beans....

[Robert Linford]

Howard continued to post his captions but the nagging fear remained : how long do chimps live for? What if Biffo died? Who would write his captions then???

[Archaic]

Howard continued to post his captions but the nagging fear remained : how long do chimps live for? What if Biffo died? Who would write his captions then???

Better hope the chimp lives for ever, Robert...

Or How might make a monkey out of you!!

:)

[Debbie D]

Hello All....

I've come up with a tempory solution to our problem. I've decided to host the caption image on my german Shepherd website. This will be a fun week since we are having technical difficulties here at JTRForums.

http://www.newmansgermanshepherds.com/id34.html

Go to this link and come up with your best caption for Ripper, Non-Ripper, Brown and Caption Most Foul. Then return here to this thread and post your responses! I LOVE photo editing software...heh heh heh.:pound:

http://www.newmansgermanshepherds.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/11111howfunny.jpg

[Robert Linford]

OMG, I've just looked. Is that HB?

[Sam Flynn]

OMG, I've just looked. Is that HB?Can someone recommend a good keyboard cleaner? I've just been sick.

Still, at least I now understand what the menu option "Enable caret browsing" means...

[Sam Flynn]

JTR-related: Annie Chapman: The missing wedding photograph

Non-related: Mutton(dressed-as-lamb) chop whiskers

[Archaic]

I would like to suggest a new thread topic:

'Was the Wicked Witch of the West A Tranny Ho'?

[Archaic]

Howard Brown's famous Fire Engine Impersonation.

[Archaic]

The sure-fire LVP method of to clear unwanted guests from your Lodging House.

[Debbie D]

OMG, I've just looked. Is that HB?

Yes it is!!!!! Come on Robert, I know your holding in a good one!:lol:

[Archaic]

Before there was 'Dancing With The Stars' there was 'Dancing With The Crones'.

[Sam Flynn]

Come on Robert, I know your holding in a good one!
He should eat more bran, then...

[Robert Linford]

After two seconds consideration, the executive committee of the Philadelphia Amateur Dramatic Society resolved NOT to perform the Sound of Music, and went home singing "How Do We Solve A Problem Like Maria's?"

[How Brown]

Hey...gimme credit...I look good in LVP garb.

You jealous b-words....:cool:

[WRITEFX]

After playing to an empty house, the manager of the Whitechapel Folies Bergere, decided that the problem must have been down to the unpleasant hat belonging to his leading lady, rather than her refusal to shave that day.

[Brad McGinnis]

Due to the financial crunch in Philly, How decided to become civic minded and open a facility to help with the problem of transvestite unicorns.

[Sam Flynn]

the manager of the Whitechapel Folies Bergere, decided that the problem must have been down to the unpleasant hat belonging to his leading lady, rather than her refusal to shave that day.Neddie Seagoon: Curse the French! They've always got something to hide!

Major Bloodnok: Not at the Folies Bergère, they haven't!



(S. Milligan)

[Archaic]

Whitechapel Theater Review: "In Harry Dam's new play, Howard Brown is woefully miscast
as Salome the Dancing Girl...

so woefully that poor John the Baptist might be tempted to cut off his own head to get away from her."

[Brad McGinnis]

Among recently unearthed personal papers of J Edgar Hoover was this photograph with the inscription, "Darling Hoovie, from all us gurlz at Cleveland Street, XOXOXOXO, Eddy".

[Brad McGinnis]

When asked what its like being a Royal, HRH Albert Victor said, "Being a prince is pretty cool and all that, but I'd rather be a queen."

[admin tim]

Archival photograph of a prossie in Victorian London's FAR East End, where a 'working girl' could be had for a pint of night soil.

Times were tough, and the Bearded Lady of Victorian Marvels was none too particular about how she came by her doss money.

[tel]

Boot Scootin' for Fun and Profit with Howard's School of Dance.

[How Brown]

Dear Debbie:

In light of the "fun" so many of these heathens are having at my expense...I hope you wake up tomorrow with both of your boobies on backwards...as in, on your back.


How

[Roy Corduroy]

:violin: Ye Olde Singing Caption :violin:

Raindrops keep falling on my floor :rain:
But that doesn't stop me dressing up like I'm a
Bore :bounce:
Gotta do my
Chore :bounce:
So
Raindrops keep falling on my floor they keep falling - - - - - - - - - :yo: fine

[Archaic]

Can someone recommend a good keyboard cleaner? I've just been sick.

Still, at least I now understand what the menu option "Enable caret browsing" means...


Excuse me, Sam... don't you mean "enable Cabaret browsing"?

:)

[Caroline Morris]

I can't believe nobody's beaten me to it...

Knees up Mother Brown
Knees up Mother Brown
Under the table you must go
Ee-i-ee-i-tranny-ho
If I catch you bending
I'll saw your legs right off
Knees up! Knees up!
don't get the breeze up
Knees up Mother Brown

Oh my, what a rotten tranny
What a rotten tranny
What a rotten tranny
Oh my, what a rotten tranny
What a rotten fanny too.

Ow's your father? What a sight! :yuck:

[Caroline Morris]

Scores of "Mary Kelly was a babe" believers were let down when the first ever photo of her in life was discovered.

"Oh well", one of them sighed, "at least she had a spotless apron and a nice personality."

[Robert Linford]

What worries me is that somewhere there's the head of a lovely young woman atop the hulking blob that is How's body.

[Caroline Morris]

In that case, Robert, maybe we should pity the lovely young woman who had the brain transplant... :dance:

[Robert Linford]

She's got How's brain too??? She'll have to watch out for cranial piles.

[Caroline Morris]

And a drastic reduction in her caption writing abilities...

[tel]

:violin: Ye Olde Singing Caption :violin:

Raindrops keep falling on my floor :rain:
But that doesn't stop me dressing up like I'm a
Bore :bounce:
Gotta do my
Chore :bounce:
So
Raindrops keep falling on my floor they keep falling - - - - - - - - - :yo: fine

Or that other john Farnam classic;

Howie, the cleaning Yowie

[Robert Linford]

Dan Farson : "In the mortuary it took them six hours to reassemble Kelly into the semblance of a human being."

Evidently they failed.

[Robert Linford]

As a woman, Howard was the same as his captions - flat and uninteresting.

[Gumshoe]

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty...."



Mishter Brown's imitation of Carol Burnett goes horribly wrong.

[Robert Linford]

Stung by the gibes on this thread, Howard Brown complained of "looksism" and claimed compensation for "facial discrimination."

[Archaic]

LVP governess Mary Poppins, photographed before intensive Hormone Therapy had finished transforming her into a wretched Chimney Sweep.

[Archaic]

HOW'S TRICKS:

How's sexy ad for a deluxe "Whitechapel 500-£ Upright"... ... He pays you.

[Sam Flynn]

Excuse me, Sam... don't you mean "enable Cabaret browsing"?
... I've never thrown up cabarets before. Carets, yes...

[Sam Flynn]

What worries me is that somewhere there's the head of a lovely young woman atop the hulking blob that is How's body."Lovely young woman", Rob? I was thinking more along the lines of Ma Clampett... or even Arthur Lucan :)

[Sam Flynn]

She'll have to watch out for cranial piles.
Or "hmmmm-orrhoids", as doctors call them.

[Robert Linford]

Gareth, now we know that Preparation H stands for Preparation How.

"LVP governess Mary Poppins, photographed before intensive Hormone Therapy had finished transforming her into a wretched Chimney Sweep."

Stone the crows! It's Hairy Poppins.

[Archaic]

... I've never thrown up cabarets before. Carets, yes...

Well, have you thrown up at Cabarets before? You will at How's!!


Sam, what definition of "Carets" are you using?

"Caret" as in the little written indicator mark > which means "insert here"?
(Please don't ingest them; pointy things can get stuck in your throat)

Or is "Carets" how you spell "Carrots" in Wales????

[Sam Flynn]

Sam, what definition of "Carets" are you using?
The faux-illiterate, cheap-laugh definition :)

[Archaic]

The faux-illiterate, cheap-laugh definition :)


Oh! Faux-Illiteracy must be too sophisticated for a Genuine Illiterate like me. :)

[tel]

Jill the Ripper had no trouble escaping, sweeping through the crowds wearing a monkey mask.

[Robert Linford]

The photograph which proves that you can put an old head on young shoulders.

[Caroline Morris]

Oh! Faux-Illiteracy must be too sophisticated for a Genuine Illiterate like me. :)

Hi Archy,

Well I don't know what Sam's excuse is for not seeing the scores of glorious possibilities for faux-illiterate, cheap laughs (all at Sir Jim's expense) in a certain diary. He must have been wearing faux blinkers for that textual analysis. :whistle:

[Archaic]

I'm too embarrassed to tell Howard that his dark baseball hat doesn't quite go with his striped dress...

Caz, you tell him.

[Caroline Morris]

How, your dark baseball hat doesn't quite go with your striped dress.

(How's that, Archy? :gossip:)

Oh and I hope your smalls are nice and clean, How, in case you run into Jack the Rippemoff.

You are wearing drawers, aren't you? You don't want to frighten Archy's horses.

[How Brown]

Cazzie:

Yeppers, I wear drawers...nothing too exotic...bermudas with the Flintstones and Yodas..turn on stuff to the rank and file.

Is that okay?

[Caroline Morris]

I dunno, How, you'd better ask old Tumblebum. He's currently stage left, eyeing up your shapely pins and thinking of requesting a gentleman's excuse me... :whistle:

[Robert Linford]

How, I hope you don't think that this is a way for you to enter the women's 800 metres.

[Caroline Morris]

That's a paradox, Robert. If How has the balls he can't enter, and he won't enter if he doesn't have the balls.

[Sam Flynn]

Well I don't know what Sam's excuse is for not seeing the scores of glorious possibilities for faux-illiterate, cheap laughs (all at Sir Jim's expense) in a certain diary. He must have been wearing faux blinkers for that textual analysis.Was that your caption entry, Caz? It certainly made me chuckle :)

[Currerbell]

Ohhhhhhh Matron!! (I mean How)....Love that uniform!

((PS I was enjoying the non-caption quotes for the competition tho!))

[Caroline Morris]

Glad to oblige, Sam. Laughter is always the best medicine. :kiss:

[Currerbell]

I agree Caz, will be using it on the wards!:nod:

[Robert Linford]

Yes Currer, plenty of laughter.

Of course, there will be tragic moments. It's important you remember that this is not Wuthering Heights. So when a patient dies, I don't want you saying "The devil's harried off his soul, and he can have his carcass in t'bargain." :nono:

[Currerbell]

LOL!!!! Love that! Will make sure my humour is tactful and appropriate! And recommend to the patients to read WH....

[Archaic]

Of course, there will be tragic moments. It's important you remember that this is not Wuthering Heights. So when a patient dies, I don't want you saying "The devil's harried off his soul, and he can have his carcass in t'bargain." :nono:

My goodness, Robert; of course not!!!

Bell is a modern nurse; she knows you always charge a bit extra for the carcass!

[Archaic]

"LVP fly-girl, yo!"

[Debbie D]

RIPPER
:first: Caroline Morris "Scores of "Mary Kelly was a babe" believers were let down when the first ever photo of her in life was discovered."Oh well", one of them sighed, "at least she had a spotless apron and a nice personality."
:second: Admin Timmy "Times were tough, and the Bearded Lady of Victorian Marvels was none too particular about how she came by her doss money."
:third: Archaic "The sure-fire LVP method of to clear unwanted guests from your Lodging House."

NON-RIPPER
:first: Archaic "LVP governess Mary Poppins, photographed before intensive Hormone Therapy had finished transforming her into a wretched Chimney Sweep."
:second: :noidea:

BROWN RELATED
:first: Tel "Jill the Ripper had no trouble escaping, sweeping through the crowds wearing a monkey mask."
:second: Brad McGinnis "Due to the financial crunch in Philly, How decided to become civic minded and open a facility to help with the problem of transvestite unicorns."
:third: Archaic "Howard Brown's famous Fire Engine Impersonation."

CAPTION MOST FOUL
:puke: Robert Linford "Dan Farson : "In the mortuary it took them six hours to reassemble Kelly into the semblance of a human being... Evidently they failed."

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT
:violin: How Brown for not participating :violin: