Week of March 8, 2010

[admin tim]

Here we go again - post your best ripper-related and non ripper-related captions for the following image.

[Debbie D]

Brown Related:
Grand Pa Brown was the first defendant to be convicted for habitual public drunkeness from evidence collected by the world's first ever breathalizer. Little did he know he was starting a family tradition that would last to this very day.
((Grand son How Brown (who is always worse for drink) is often found staggering with his pants around his ankles, slurred speech and holding a cardboard sign stating "Will write bad captions for beer".))

Most Foul::puke:
Contemporary breathalizers didn't test for alcohol but rather "prostitute" residue on one's breath.

[Debbie D]

Kind of Ripper Related:
One night after a hard day hunting JtR, Inspectors relaxed at the pub but it wasn't until about 10 beers later that the fun really started when Abberline prank called the palace... "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?".


:violin: What can I say? My captions aren't much better than Hows.

[Adam Went]

"Hmmm, Marconi isn't as effective when you have to make the dots and dashes with your mouth!"

Cheers,
Adam.

[Nemo]

Lillie Langtry opens first ever sex line

[Caroline Morris]

"No I don't want double glazing, you imbecile. Now go and bother the other chap who has one of these new telephone contraptions. Oh, you are the other chap. In that case, would you like a cheap quote for car insurance?"

[Rbaynton]

Hello, Mary Kelly?
I wonder if you are available right now to come over for a stag party?

[Robert Linford]

Irish vibrator fiasco : Irish women resign themselves to another week leaning against the washing machine.

[Stephen Thomas]

Sorry, wrong number.

[Magpie]

"What? You mean it didn't occur to anyone that we'd need a second phone to make the first call?"

[Debbie D]

Irish vibrator fiasco : Irish women resign themselves to another week leaning against the washing machine.

There's nothing like a washer during spin cycle :thumb:

[Nemo]

"Yes Sir Robert, we have a strong suspect safely caged in an asylum.....Keep it under my hat?...errr OK..."

[How Brown]

"Operator ?"
"Number puhleeeze...?"
"I'd like Robert Linford's number...He may be in the Colney Hatch Mews"
"That number is 1-800-4".
********************
Dobbins and American football related:

"Yeah...is this Debbie D ?...My name is Knute Rockne. I'm the coach of Notre Dame's football team. Say...listen Debbie...would you like to come and try out for our team ? I heard you used to be a tight end...but..heh heh...now you're a wide reciever...and we could sure use someone who will dive for balls in the end zone...":ear:

[How Brown]

"Hello ?"

"Yeah...is this McCarthy's chandler shop ?

"Yes it is...can I help you ?"

"Yeah....do you sell tobacco ? Do you have Prince Albert in a can ?"

"Why yes we do...."

"Well, you better keep him in there. He's liable to be fitted up for the Whitechapel Murders !"

[Caroline Morris]

"Make that twenty large eels, fifteen regular ginger beers and a tub of cookie dough ice cream with twenty spoons."

[Robert Linford]

No, no, Eddison, you fool! What you have to do is fit the arm to the record player so that the needle rests on a disc, and then if you've wound up the record player, you'll hear music. You won't get anywhere by sucking the damn needle!

[WRITEFX]

Satisfield customers at the launch of the new beard shaving machine.

[String]

"Whats that! Whats that!"
"I appear to be talking to something called a call centre in Madras chaps"

[Robert Linford]

Snake charming : how NOT to do it.

[Nemo]

"Hello, Personnel?...we need more staff to deal with Kelly's client list..."

[String]

"Okay I'm writing it down, drat I've forgotten my glasses"
"Okay go ahead. What does it say on the wall?"
"The crews are the ones.."

[ferret]

"Make that twenty large eels, fifteen regular ginger beers and a tub of cookie dough ice cream with twenty spoons."

and nineteen paperclips!! x:) xx:attention:

[String]

"You just don't get any privacy on these prison phones"