Week of April 19, 2010

[String]

Ok for your considerations in the the Ripper, non-ripper and Howard Brown categories here's this weeks pic:

[Jon Simons]

Mary Pearcey cursed her luck when the Prosecutor produced the final, damning piece of photographic evidence.

[Robert Linford]

Not only did Howard have to be wheeled home after his pub crawl, but he was wheeled home by the only woman who would go with him.

[How Brown]

Bob...I've sent you a package,old bean...be sure you open it without anyone being around you in a 5 block radius. Its a special gift just for your eyes only. Disregard any ticking noises...they're insignificant.

[Mike Covell]

Ripper

Diemshitz wife did away with the pony and used the pram, it wouldn't get nervous everytime she went to Dutfields Yard.

Proof that Mary Kelly had a son!

Mrs Stephenson rolls Robert D'Onston Stephenson out in his bathchair after the Incident at Flamborough.

Mrs Abberline took the pram to get the wheels fixed, she was told "The screws are the fixtures that will be blamed for nothing"

Proof that Ripperologists are getting younger!

Non Ripper

Gary Glitter's birthday present finally arrives.

Who put the bomp in the bomp shalompabomp, who put the pram in the pram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?

Howard related

The violin collection was getting so big that extra measures were employed to move them around.

[Jon Simons]

Ripper related:

Amongst the first to volunteer for special undercover duties was Detective Sergeant Robinson.

[Jon Simons]

Non Ripper Related

"Battleship Potemkin" cast members relax between takes.

[Robert Linford]

You do that, How, and I'll get the pram pusher to strip for a cycle pic.

[Robert Linford]

Stewart Evans sends Paul Begg a hand-picked nurse.

[tel]

How really scrapes the bottom of the barrel for cunning disguises.

[tel]

The fire engine impression fell flat when there was a mix up with the hand perambulated conveyances.

[Adam Went]

Nanny McPhee, pre-pimples.

"Sister? No....i'm a southern girl, this is my grand-daughter."

Cheers,
Adam.

[String]

Silly ripper theory no 346:
The killer used a huge pram to escape.

[Nemo]

Mary: "I'm playing at Jack the Ripper mum - this is his Royal Coach
Mum: "Oh Mary, where do you get such silly ideas?"

[Robert Linford]

Ann B Davis : how the Brady Bunch began.

[Cris Malone]

Proof that Victorian midgets did wear shorter that ankle length skirts.
Sounds logical doesn't it, Caroline?

[Caroline Morris]

Don't get me started, Cris. :)

[Caroline Morris]

"Mrs Brown, you've got a lovely daughter."

"Hell no, little Howard just looks like a girl."

"Named after his father?"

"No, the midwife told me to push hard so I asked "How 'ard?" just as a mass of blond curls appeared and the poor little bugger was born."

[admin tim]

And then the midwife took a closer look at little How 'ard and slapped the mother instead, right?

[Caroline Morris]

Bugger - you read Mother Brown's diary too then, Tim. I thought I had an exclusive there.

[admin tim]

Well, when the midwife finally got around to slapping little How 'ard's bum, she then flipped 'im over and said to the proud mum "Look, e's twins".

[String]

People resort to all methods of transport to beat the European flight ban.

[Stephen Thomas]

"My, what a handsome little fellow. Has his father got red hair as well?"

"Couldn't say, Vicar, he never took his hat off".

[Robert Linford]

"Watson, you will take neither the first cab which presents itself, nor the second, but the third, which will be pushed by my brother Mycroft (who will be in disguise)."

(From "The Final Problem").

[Caroline Morris]

"Is this your first infant, madam?"

"Mercy me no Sir! Little How 'ard ain't my first. My first is gawn to meet his maker, poor thing. At least he looked like a boy. I think of him as my little Ripper cos he was the baby that got thrown out with the bath water".

[WRITEFX]

H. Brown, the winner of the 'ugliest baby' contest, could not even be uncovered for the photograph on advice of Health and Safety officers.

[String]

Great entries as usual.
After long consideration (about 2 mins) and checking the mail for cheques the results are as follows:

RIPPER
:first: Jon "Amongst the first to volunteer for special undercover duties..."
:second: Mike "Mrs Abberline took the pram to get the wheels fixed..."
:third: Nemo "Mary: "I'm playing at Jack the Ripper mum..."

NON-RIPPER
:first: Robert "Watson, you will take neither the first cab which presents..."
:second: Stephen ""My, what a handsome little fellow..."
:third: Cris "Proof that Victorian midgets did wear shorter..."

BROWN RELATED
:first: Caroline ""Mrs Brown, you've got a lovely daughter...."
:second: Admin "And then the midwife took a closer look at little How 'ar..."
:third: Writefx "H. Brown, the winner of the 'ugliest baby' contest, could..."

[How Brown]

I wish I had entered this week, because I would have won.
Damn it.

[tel]

Not if yer keep payin' the bribes in confederate money.

[How Brown]

Thats true Tel.
How did you guys make the pay off back in prehistoric times ? Mossy rock ?

[admin tim]

Hey, I won second place and I wasn't even entering! I was just riffing on Caroline's hilariously accurate entry in the Brown category.

[Nemo]

Thanks again String! :thumb: