Week of May 03, 2010

[String]

This is a special one that Howard sent me from a recent conference he attended:

[Jon Simons]

Following complaints, Jimmy Durante was replaced as projectionist.

[Stephen Thomas]

This is a special one that Howard sent me from a recent conference he attended:

Howard just couldn't resist standing in front of the projector

[How Brown]

Who's the dick blocking the screen ?

[How Brown]

...and as we ponder point #2 ladies, particularly you,Ms. Morris...we see the ominous shadow of Howzilla looming in your immediate future.

[Cris Malone]

If they truely have a support group for this kind of people, then stick a fork in it. We're done for.
Where I live we give them enough support to get the noose around their neck... then we kick it out from under 'em.

By the way, the guy in front of the screen evidently forgot to wear his support.

For some of us, however, flashing would not get much attention. I was on a jobsite one time and had to go around the corner of the building to relieve myself. While I was there, the homeowner (a woman) came around the corner and caught me. She was obviously embarrassed and I thought I should have been too, until she said. "Don't worry. I didn't see anything anyway". I decided not to ask her if I could be of any further assistance. I thought of the 'Sienfeld' episode when George got caught changing from his swimming trunks... but that's always a lame excuse.

[Adam Went]

The purpose of the meeting at the IWMEC has largely been misconstrued.

Cheers,
Adam. :cool:

[admin]

It wasn't well known that Alfred Hitchcock had a cousin, Pud Dicknoes, who directed small theatre presentations.

[Cris Malone]

Thanks for pointing step No. 2 out for us, Peter... and for demonstrating its meaning.

[Stephen Thomas]

What's that guy talking about?

F*ck nose.

[String]

"Hey you at the back! Stop dicking around!"

[String]

Microsofts launch of it's new version of PowerPoint didn't go quite as planned.

[String]

Some indistinct whisperings in the audience, then a voice can be made out.
"Yeah I run a Jack the Ripper website out of Philly".
More indistinct whisperings then the same voice can be heard again.
"The Judge said this was my last chance".

[WRITEFX]

The notorious Whitechapel flasher known as 'Wee Willie Winkie' has been finally caught out by his silhouette (far left on the screen). He was charged under his true identity - H. Brown.

[How Brown]

Drats ! Thanks for blowing my cover, WFX !!!

Silhouette of the not so famous brother of the legendary Alfred Hitchcock....Droopy Hitchcock.

[Caroline Morris]

"Dear Boss,

I keep on flashing and my zip hasnt caught it so I wont fix my flies just yet. Ladies have laughed when it looks so limp and talk about me being a right dick. That joke about my meat and two veg gave me a hernia. No whore will go down on me but I shant quit flashing and my belt wont get buckled. Grand work my last streak was. I gave the lady no time to squeal. How can they catch me now. I love the exposure and want to flash it again. You will soon see me playing my funny little elephant game. I saved some of the proper white stuff...." [that's quite enough of that, Jack Flash, you'd better come quietly now - Sgt Thick]

[tel]

Seldom mentioned suspect, Bartholomew Q Gerkinnose, remains a shadowy figure.

[Stephen Thomas]

Most of the wine had been drunk and the barman only had a Semillon

[Debbie D]

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
He un did his pants and showed us his...:scared:

[Debbie D]

Brown Related:

Not only did Howard conveniently "forget" to zip up, he also came back to the meeting with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

[String]

Great entries as usual, if you'll pardon the expression.

RIPPER RELATED
:first: Caroline "Dear Boss...."
:second: Writefx "The notorious Whitechapel flasher known as 'Wee Willie..."
:third: tel "Seldom mentioned suspect, Bartholomew..."

NON-RIPPER
:first: Howard "Who's the dick blocking the screen ?..."
:second: Debbie "Jack be nimble..."
:third: Jon "Following complaints, Jimmy Durante was replaced as..."

BROWN RELATED
:first: Stephen "Howard just couldn't resist standing in front of the..."
:second: Debbie "Not only did Howard conveniently "forget" to zip up,..."

[How Brown]

Nice choice for non-Ripper, String ! I knew you would pull through and do the right thing.
I also know you got that FedEx package with the ceritifed check.
I'll use FedEx from now on when sending "donations" overseas.

I beat Debbie and her double "D"'s and that chihuahua Carmine which makes today a real Mothers Day for Debbie.:lock1:

[String]

No problem there How ;).
You must get good interest in the Cayman Islands.

[How Brown]

String:

Nah buddy...its just that it doesn't take as much to brib..er, donate to you as it did with whatsherface.:tea:

Good $ob jud$ing this la$t time.