Week of June 6, 2010

[String]

Thanks for the link Tim, here's this weeks caption contest. Captions in the categories of Ripper related, Non-ripper related and Howard Brown related.
Here's a gang of hot looking mama's for ya:

[How Brown]

Whoa...the Hollywood Ten ! Didn't they get subpoenaed and booted outta the country ?
I see Tim is using his scrapbook photos now.


Non-Ripper:

Drink up boys...they may change their minds.

Ripper:

The seldom mentioned pocket of upright ladies who lived on the seldom mentioned UndeFlowered & Dean Street.

[Stephen Thomas]

Amy Winehouse (front row right) finally goes into rehab.

[Cris Malone]

A reunion picture of How's ex girlfriends explaining why they prefer to skip the foreplay.

This picture was above the bar that I used to belly up to as an incentive to have another... kinda like putting out popcorn.

This picture was also in the 'Ten Bells' pub for the same reason... they couldn't afford popcorn.
See it this way, all of the canonicals looked better than this.

[String]

Meeting of the formerly named Cambridge Union National Temperance Society.
They changed their name when a member went to get t-shirts printed.
The new society named the Temperance In Towns Society meets every Thursday.

[Jon Simons]

Police deny fixed Jury at Sadler trial

[How Brown]

Don't get me started,String...but thanks for the inspiration.

The little known and unsuccessful outfit, the Society for the Non-provision of Alcohol To Costermongers & Hansom Operators.

[How Brown]

Youse think that that caption is stimulatin' and provocative...you should see the original message !
Behold !

http://i908.photobucket.com/albums/ac287/HowieNina/Photo%20Thanksgiving/Forums%20March%202010/June%202010/sign.jpg

[Cris Malone]

You're on to something there, How. Maybe we have the wrong lips in mind here... bet they liked a guy who ate mint lifesavers though... or maybe it was peppermint schnapps.
I've known some gals who said that was very refreshing. LOL

[How Brown]

I'll put the placard back up since Nina ain't in the room anymore Cris.

[Cris Malone]

You know, I looked at that picture again and I thought... 'as if they've got enough trouble already'... I mean, why would these, of all women decide to raise the bar ( no pun intended).

[Cris Malone]

I ain't laughed like this since an anatomically challenged friend of mine told me he got a girl's olive, once - instead of 'cherry' - and I guess once is all you could do in that regard ... Reckon she was Italian.

[Cris Malone]

I mean... if this was all of the women left in the world... I'd be gay.

[Cris Malone]

Ok, ok.... JTR related.
This photo of potential victims gives provenance to Dr. Forby Winslopper's theory that the murderer put a bag over the victims' heads before he cut their throat.

The murders ceased because he ran out of bags.

[Cris Malone]

They had to take the picture with a painted landscape because if they had used a real one, all of the leaves would have fallen off the trees.

[Cris Malone]

Naw, naw... they gotta be in drag. That one standing in the middle looks like Geronimo. That reservation in Florida must have been a tough place.

[WRITEFX]

2009 JTR conference - Forum members in authentic costumes added sophistication and beauty to the proceedings.

[String]

Calendar girls circa 1880.

[Adam Went]

We've all been fooled - this is the official photograph of H Division, post-Christmas party.

Cheers,
Adam.

[Phil Carter]

Ripper related....

"Of course we knew Mary, she worked for us in the pubs around Whitchapel and Aldgate."

"P.S. All interviews will be given in private only, by George Hutchinson, our President."

best wishes

Phil

[Caroline Morris]

The Whitechapel Victims, revisionist-style

[Chris G.]

Well that's a relief.

[Phil Carter]

Ripper related..

"They think we are doctor's now, hahahaha!"...
"Sorry about the red stuff, but Beaujelais Nouveau is awful on the quill"

Non-Ripper related..

This society was originally formed from the Would-be-Mother-in-law Union for frightening the living daylights out of suitable batchelors...


Howard related...

Been there, done it, bought the T.shirt and turned to drink afterwards....

best wishes

Phil

[Cris Malone]

Howard related:

In an effort to solve How's premature ejaculation problem, Nina replaced the ceiling mirror over the bed with a lifesized replica of this picture.
Result: ED... and they ain't made a pill that will overcome that image.

Hell, I think I've got ED just from having flashbacks of that picture. I keep seeing Geronimo staring at me... kinda like a bad trip on acid.

Imagine if they put that picture in Al 'horsey sauce" Hirt's jail cell. There'd be no more trom 'bone' playing for a while. Of course, that would be classified as cruel and unusual punishment.

[How Brown]

Cris:

I would rather face capture by some howling Injuns out for hair ( The extinct Karankawa Indians in East Texas who liked to eat their fellow man)....7 days in a jail cell without cigarettes and having rap music piped in at 1000 decibels....or being an armless and legless inmate and the only pale male in Rahway State Prison...then have to tangle with Tel's Angels.

[Cris Malone]

I've been sleeping on my stomach ever since I saw that group of... whatever they are.

[How Brown]

A momentary diversion from String's latest terrific caption for an equally thrilling story.

Cris:
Seriously though....did I ever tell you about "the viagra" story ? You mentioned ED.
Real quick, I had about 7 or 8 of them out on the coffee table( freebies from the doctor...I swear..snicker...) and Nina thought they were M&M's...and ate them.
Man,I was terrified...I thought she was gonna have to go to the hospital. Fortunately, she was okay after drinking some bicarbonate of soda and some other stuff....but what an erection she got ! That Viagra stuff really works !

[Cris Malone]

:rofl:
I can't stand much more of this... so the little man in the boat climbed the ol' main mast did he?

[tel]

How's Fan Club take up yet another lost cause.

[How Brown]

Campaign advertisement for ten reasons why its good to give a second thought about moving to Australia.

[Nemo]

The lesbian "Big Brother" appreciation society protests against Kinga's antics

(sorry - lol)


Liquor in front, poker in the rear...

[Stephen Thomas]

The Booze Free Brothel staffed entirely by his ex-girlfriends proved to be Howard's most spectacular business failure.

[How Brown]

Ha ha !! A failure indeed,ST...a failure indeed.

[Robert Linford]

When they start to look good, you know you've had enough (with thanks to Dave Allen).

[Cris Malone]

This recently discovered image of the Merrick family cousins leave no doubt now that the story of Joseph Merrick's mother being frightened by an elephant while with child was a myth.

[How Brown]

Good to see the oldest member of The Bribe Brothers ( Tel being a few years younger..a few) Robert Methuzelah Linford back in action.
Lotsa stuff happened while you were away Robert. Napoleon got his ass kicked and America was discovered.

[tel]

and America was discovered.

... but they threw it back!

[Debbie D]

Unfortunately for the ladies, they would not be kissing any lips, because the only lips that would kiss theirs would require mass quantities of liquor before these ladies would look half way attractive?

[tel]

Nobody has ever been that drunk!

[Robert Linford]

This anti-alcohol photo would have had more impact if the ladies had excluded the drunken bellboy who somehow wandered into it (back row second on left).

[Jon Simons]

Indeed, Robert. Harold Wilson`s gran is about to hit him.

[String]

A new Jeremy Kyle programme features Wayne Rooneys exes.

[String]

This anti-alcohol photo would have had more impact if the ladies had excluded the drunken bellboy who somehow wandered into it (back row second on left).

Now I know the reason for the look on the face of the one directly under the sign.
"Remove your hand Sir!"

[Phil Carter]

nope... not even with a paper bag over my head...I just can't do it!

best wishes

Phil

[Cris Malone]

DATELINE...HOUSTON...

NASA claims that its plan to place the infamous image of the Humpingrunt, Ark. Temperance Society as one of the artifacts aboard the new 'Voyager' space probe has been delayed following a pending lawsuit filed by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Extra-Terrestrials...

Mr. Ona Bender... A spokesman for NASA said yesterday that it was all a misunderstanding... As the intent of the mission was to detonate the payload as soon as it cleared the solar system...

Some scientist have feared that if the payload in question remained intact... that it might go into solar orbit and be mistaken for Uranus by astronomers...

[How Brown]

We're blessed with a lotta nice looking ladies here...My wife whatsername,Caz,Raven, Debs,Debbie D, etc...,...these are ladies you would quit drinking for if you were pressed.

Not so with those ten sweathogs. The first thing I did when String put 'em up was grab a bottle of rubbing alcohol on my desk and swigged half of it down. I couldn't get to the refrigerator in time.

I kid, I kid.....I guzzled the whole pint.

[Cris Malone]

Why didn't you pass some of that to me , How?... I had to strain shoe polish through a perfectly good piece of bread to get a good bumper to toss down.

[How Brown]

Cris:

I usually use the "heel" of old loaves of Italian bread for a strainer and three cans of premium Sterno@. You get a nice buzz and avoid the bitter aftertaste of isopropyl alcohol. All for under a buck.
You've gotta know how to save a dollar in this life,pardner.

[Robert Linford]

How, you'll be delighted to know that the ladies have since relented, and are offering you an escape clause : if you use a funnel, then your lips will be acceptable to these daughters of Venus.

Get in there, How.

[String]

Thanks for the great money saving tips guys especally with the price of drink due to rise here.
Now will someone pass that bottle of white lighning around!

[Cris Malone]

Man... we drink it all the first day you posted this.

[How Brown]

Eye shtill got shum shoe polish and ends of..hic..bread left,Shtring...you want some ?

[String]

Great response this week, nice to see the old timer Robert Linford back and on top form.

RIPPER RELATED
:first: Adam "We've all been fooled - this is the official photograph..."
:second: WriteFX "2009 JTR conference - Forum members in authentic..."
:third: Cris "This photo of potential victims..."

NON-RIPPER
:first: Robert "This anti-alcohol photo would have had more impact..."
:second: Stephen "Amy Winehouse (front row right) finally goes into rehab..."
:third: Howard "Campaign advertisement for ten reasons why its good to..."

HOWARD

:first: Cris "In an effort to solve How's premature ejaculation problem..."
:second: Tel "How's Fan Club take up yet another lost cause."
:third: Stephen "The Booze Free Brothel staffed entirely by his..."

[How Brown]

Don't hurt your lips kissing Robert's old dinosaur ass, String...

Chrissakes, the geezer was gone for almost the entire last month and here he pops in for 5 seconds and gets the prize.

You two ain't related are you ?

[String]

Granda Linford is very dear to us all.

[How Brown]

You mean Bribemasterda is good to you and you alone.:sad:
What does he send ? Autographed High school photos of himself and Lord Nelson ready for Ebay ?

[Adam Went]

Looks like that arse kissing worked a treat, How. ;)

Cheers,
Adam.

[Cris Malone]

I just want to thank the female members of this forum ( who didn't participate in this one very much) for allowing us menfolks to carry on in our usual way... despite the fact that we may have beer guts, scratch our ass in public, leave the toilet seat up and are uglier than a sackful of a**holes ourselves.

Women, for the most part, are the ones who have kept the 'Civil' in civilization. The ladies in this image may have been trying to do the same, but they didn't have much to bargin with... LOL.

Now, maybe I won't have to sleep on the couch anymore.

[How Brown]

I hope you're jettisoned to the garage for 6 months,buddy boy. I see you're in on the bribola with String too.

[Caroline Morris]

Stop moaning, How. At least you got a third prize. I got sweet Fanny Adams.

My caption evidently went right over male heads because they were too busy drinking in the delights of those chaste women.

I WANT TO BE CHASTE TOO!!!

[String]

Caroline see this weeks caption picture for hints on how to win.

[How Brown]

Caz...

Lemme tell ya....if you wuz around here, you would be chased. By me.

Here it comes....:brick:

...but worth it.