Jack The Ripper Forums  - Ripperology For The 21st Century  

Go Back   Jack The Ripper Forums - Ripperology For The 21st Century > Persons Of Interest or Actual Suspects > FUNNY Ripper Theories

FUNNY Ripper Theories OK, the theory may also be wacky, but the difference here is that it was proposed to be serious. Honestly.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old August 25th, 2017, 05:59 AM   #1
Caroline Brown
Author
 
Caroline Brown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,232
Default Monty Reincarnated?

I wish to report that Mr and Mrs Brown of Sidmouth have reason to suspect that our cat Monty has lived before. We have confided in our local West Country MP, Hugh Jarse, and trust him not to spread it abroad that Monty's family believe he could be Jack the Ripper reborn.

The other morning, after a night out hunting for vulnerable creatures, Monty looked at us sheepishly, surrounded by blood smears all over our conservatory floor, and he had used the doormat to cover up the worst of the gore. No other remains were in evidence except a small organ we believed was the kidney of a poor old bird or frightened mouse. We don't know what happened to the other one, but have asked the neighbours to look out for him nipping across the road to the Post Office.

Love,

Caz
X
__________________
I wish I were two puppies then I could play together - Storm Petersen
Caroline Brown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 25th, 2017, 06:41 AM   #2
Anna Morris
Registered User
 
Anna Morris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Idaho, USA
Posts: 3,749
Default

WONDERFUL observation! Thank you so much for sharing!

(That odd bit of innards is probably from a rodent. My cats leave those things from gophers and voles. Also, my veterinary described cats as murderers on four legs.)
__________________
The wickedness of the world is the dream of the plague.~~Voynich Manuscript
Anna Morris is online now   Reply With Quote
Old August 25th, 2017, 07:12 AM   #3
Gary Barnett
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 6,655
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline Morris View Post
I wish to report that Mr and Mrs Brown of Sidmouth have reason to suspect that our cat Monty has lived before. We have confided in our local West Country MP, Hugh Jarse, and trust him not to spread it abroad that Monty's family believe he could be Jack the Ripper reborn.

The other morning, after a night out hunting for vulnerable creatures, Monty looked at us sheepishly, surrounded by blood smears all over our conservatory floor, and he had used the doormat to cover up the worst of the gore. No other remains were in evidence except a small organ we believed was the kidney of a poor old bird or frightened mouse. We don't know what happened to the other one, but have asked the neighbours to look out for him nipping across the road to the Post Office.

Love,

Caz
X
Caz,

I don't keep up with West Country politics - when did Hugh Jampton lose his majority?

Gary
Gary Barnett is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 25th, 2017, 07:14 AM   #4
Jon Simons
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 627
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline Morris View Post
Hugh Jarse

Excellent
Jon Simons is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 25th, 2017, 07:15 AM   #5
Robert Linford
Researcher Extraordinaire
 
Robert Linford's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 19,047
Default

It is not the first time that the cat Monty has been involved in controversy. There was the message scratched on a wooden door - "The shrews are not the men that will be blamed for nothing" - not to mention the occasion when he got into school trouble (basically he ate an entire school of fish). It is now feared that Monty may 'go' abroad, and neighbours have been issued with scoops and plastic bags.
Robert Linford is online now   Reply With Quote
Old August 25th, 2017, 07:19 AM   #6
Gary Barnett
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 6,655
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Linford View Post
It is not the first time that the cat Monty has been involved in controversy. There was the message scratched on a wooden door - "The shrews are not the men that will be blamed for nothing" - not to mention the occasion when he got into school trouble (basically he ate an entire school of fish). It is now feared that Monty may 'go' abroad, and neighbours have been issued with scoops and plastic bags.
I'd search his basket - I wouldn't be surprised if you found an 'off-beak' season ticket to Exmoor
Gary Barnett is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 25th, 2017, 11:24 AM   #7
Anna Morris
Registered User
 
Anna Morris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Idaho, USA
Posts: 3,749
Default

Caz: You have the material for a darling children's book on JtR...told through the eyes of Monty.
__________________
The wickedness of the world is the dream of the plague.~~Voynich Manuscript
Anna Morris is online now   Reply With Quote
Old August 25th, 2017, 11:56 AM   #8
Anna Morris
Registered User
 
Anna Morris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Idaho, USA
Posts: 3,749
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Linford View Post
It is not the first time that the cat Monty has been involved in controversy. There was the message scratched on a wooden door - "The shrews are not the men that will be blamed for nothing" - not to mention the occasion when he got into school trouble (basically he ate an entire school of fish). It is now feared that Monty may 'go' abroad, and neighbours have been issued with scoops and plastic bags.
If he had been caught scratching the message about the Shruwes onto brick or plaster we may have been able to see beneath, the work of Masons.
__________________
The wickedness of the world is the dream of the plague.~~Voynich Manuscript
Anna Morris is online now   Reply With Quote
Old August 25th, 2017, 12:24 PM   #9
Caroline Brown
Author
 
Caroline Brown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,232
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Barnett View Post
Caz,

I don't keep up with West Country politics - when did Hugh Jampton lose his majority?

Gary
Good one Gary.

Actually, our MP is one Hugo Swire, but modesty forbids me from revealing how I altered his name, printed in white letters on my election leaflet, with tippex and a felt tip pen.

Oh go on then. Basically, I changed the o to an e and the r to an n.

Simple and effective and more subtle than the person who scrawled on a long line of election posters along the main A3052 Exeter Road, using a black marker pen: HUGE TWAT.

The posters were taken down soon afterwards by some killjoy. And Hugo retained his seat by a huge arse majority.

That's the West Country for you.

Monty was in London as a lad, but I don't know whereabouts, so he could have sharpened his claws in Blackheath, Whitechapel or even mews in Chelsea.

By the way, he is insane - even for a cat - and I suspect it runs in the family.

Love,

Caz
X
__________________
I wish I were two puppies then I could play together - Storm Petersen
Caroline Brown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 25th, 2017, 12:28 PM   #10
Sam Flynn
Owl Catcher
 
Sam Flynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Wales
Posts: 2,942
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline Morris View Post
Actually, our MP is one Hugo Swyre, but modesty forbids me from revealing how I altered his name on my election leaflet with tippex.

Oh go on then. Basically, I changed the o to an e and the yr to in.
I'd have done exactly the same.

I had to look him up, and I'm here to tell you that Huge Swine's photo on Wikipedia is right out of the Alan B'Stard style-guide. Interestingly, his ancestor was a prosperous textile trader from Liverpool, which is never a good sign...
__________________
Kind regards, Sam Flynn

"Suche Nullen"
(F. Nietzsche)

Sam Flynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:13 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10 Beta 2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright @ Howard & Nina Brown 2015-2022