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In my secular and private lives, I am pretty much isolated but for a handful of friends and acquaintances; the fact is that I am just not that much of a people-person and would be considered an introvert. I haven’t even talked to either my brother or my son for over a year now. That’s just how it is. Opposites do attract, though, and my wife is very much a people-person and an extrovert.
She has many friends, among them a woman now going through a divorce. She is very empathetic by nature and of course possesses a woman’s natural nurturing and protective instincts. As such, she has spent many hours consoling this other woman, giving such comfort as only another woman can, and has sympathetically listened to the other woman’s stories in excruciating detail.
I know this other woman and her estranged husband, as they are both members of my church. The woman is of a kind and sweet outgoing nature, while the husband is more aloof and reserved. I have never socialized with them although the husband is also a chemical engineer and firearms enthusiast. There has always been something about him that has caused me to keep my distance. And with good reason, evidently.
Long story short – my wife has come home time after time with tales to tell from visiting with this other woman, who continues to live alone in their former home while this divorce runs its course. As her husband, I have been expected to listen attentively and patiently while she tells me all what was said during each of these sessions. I didn’t pay too close attention at first, me being me and just thinking that all this was mere vulgar intrigue and female gossip, but then I began noticing snippets of conversation that sounded an alarm.
The stories I heard, concerning manipulation, projection of guilt, emotional facades, cruel, controlling behavior and so forth made me realize that the husband was very likely a clinical psychopath and I told her so, to her disbelief.
Now, Hollywood has done for psychopaths what it has done for guns, and people like my wife believe that psychopaths are all cold, remorseless serial killers. I disabused her on that notion, telling her that many prominent businessmen and politicians are closet psychopaths, which is the probable reason for their success. I then took her to the JTRForums.com forum on psychopathy, e.g., ([url]http://www.jtrforums.com/showthread.php?t=12529[/url]), and introduced her to the work of Dr. Hare and his PCL-R checklist. She took this and some other relevant material I gave her over to this other woman for review and discussion. She came back later that evening with an Oh-My-God-You’re-Right expression and attitude. Upon questioning the other woman, my wife found that the PCL-R checklist seems to have fit the husband pretty close to 100%.
I recommended a couple of books for this woman to read, and my wife bought them for her. One of the titles is [url]http://www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-Abuse-Relationships-Narcissists-Psychopaths-ebook/dp/B007BBWFYU/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1447532568&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=survive+marriage+with+psychopath[/url] and they seem to have done the trick. The other woman is now well into recovery from this relationship, now knows that the failed marriage is not her fault, has begun to fight back and offer resistance that had never been offered before. The husband is nonplussed and essentially in shock since he had been used to getting his way in all aspects of this marriage. He wanted and expected her to settle out of court for a tiny fraction of what she would be entitled to under Texas law (he had convinced his first wife to accept such an offer), and there are several millions of dollars at stake. He has injudiciously called her and made threats, which the wife has recorded and given to her attorney, who has made good use of them. The husband’s attorney apparently told him that if he did anything of the sort again, he would drop the case.
It’s not over yet, and I have reminded both my wife and this other woman that a trapped psychopath can be very dangerous. If he perceives that he has ‘lost control’ and is really going to have to part with a large portion of his net worth, he could easily turn violent. He has also bugged the house and evidently monitors her email account. This poor woman had even been manipulated into NOT changing the locks after he moved out and I hope I don’t have to tell anyone how foolish that was. That too has since been rectified.
And so, folks, if anyone ever criticizes you for wasting your time in Ripperology and by lurking on this site so much (here’s looking at you, Robert Linford), tell them that it [I]does[/I] have its practical uses and applications after all. If not for my interest and experience in this case, I would have been unable to give her the advice that I did. And if I haven’t actually saved her physical life, I have positively saved her emotional life, for she would have ended this marriage with a mere pittance to show for it (and she's 60 years old), as well as a heaping load of guilt for believing that it really was all her fault, just as she had always been told.
And on the plus side, my wife now doesn’t nag me at all about spending so much time on JTRForums.com. I just love happy endings.
She has many friends, among them a woman now going through a divorce. She is very empathetic by nature and of course possesses a woman’s natural nurturing and protective instincts. As such, she has spent many hours consoling this other woman, giving such comfort as only another woman can, and has sympathetically listened to the other woman’s stories in excruciating detail.
I know this other woman and her estranged husband, as they are both members of my church. The woman is of a kind and sweet outgoing nature, while the husband is more aloof and reserved. I have never socialized with them although the husband is also a chemical engineer and firearms enthusiast. There has always been something about him that has caused me to keep my distance. And with good reason, evidently.
Long story short – my wife has come home time after time with tales to tell from visiting with this other woman, who continues to live alone in their former home while this divorce runs its course. As her husband, I have been expected to listen attentively and patiently while she tells me all what was said during each of these sessions. I didn’t pay too close attention at first, me being me and just thinking that all this was mere vulgar intrigue and female gossip, but then I began noticing snippets of conversation that sounded an alarm.
The stories I heard, concerning manipulation, projection of guilt, emotional facades, cruel, controlling behavior and so forth made me realize that the husband was very likely a clinical psychopath and I told her so, to her disbelief.
Now, Hollywood has done for psychopaths what it has done for guns, and people like my wife believe that psychopaths are all cold, remorseless serial killers. I disabused her on that notion, telling her that many prominent businessmen and politicians are closet psychopaths, which is the probable reason for their success. I then took her to the JTRForums.com forum on psychopathy, e.g., ([url]http://www.jtrforums.com/showthread.php?t=12529[/url]), and introduced her to the work of Dr. Hare and his PCL-R checklist. She took this and some other relevant material I gave her over to this other woman for review and discussion. She came back later that evening with an Oh-My-God-You’re-Right expression and attitude. Upon questioning the other woman, my wife found that the PCL-R checklist seems to have fit the husband pretty close to 100%.
I recommended a couple of books for this woman to read, and my wife bought them for her. One of the titles is [url]http://www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-Abuse-Relationships-Narcissists-Psychopaths-ebook/dp/B007BBWFYU/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1447532568&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=survive+marriage+with+psychopath[/url] and they seem to have done the trick. The other woman is now well into recovery from this relationship, now knows that the failed marriage is not her fault, has begun to fight back and offer resistance that had never been offered before. The husband is nonplussed and essentially in shock since he had been used to getting his way in all aspects of this marriage. He wanted and expected her to settle out of court for a tiny fraction of what she would be entitled to under Texas law (he had convinced his first wife to accept such an offer), and there are several millions of dollars at stake. He has injudiciously called her and made threats, which the wife has recorded and given to her attorney, who has made good use of them. The husband’s attorney apparently told him that if he did anything of the sort again, he would drop the case.
It’s not over yet, and I have reminded both my wife and this other woman that a trapped psychopath can be very dangerous. If he perceives that he has ‘lost control’ and is really going to have to part with a large portion of his net worth, he could easily turn violent. He has also bugged the house and evidently monitors her email account. This poor woman had even been manipulated into NOT changing the locks after he moved out and I hope I don’t have to tell anyone how foolish that was. That too has since been rectified.
And so, folks, if anyone ever criticizes you for wasting your time in Ripperology and by lurking on this site so much (here’s looking at you, Robert Linford), tell them that it [I]does[/I] have its practical uses and applications after all. If not for my interest and experience in this case, I would have been unable to give her the advice that I did. And if I haven’t actually saved her physical life, I have positively saved her emotional life, for she would have ended this marriage with a mere pittance to show for it (and she's 60 years old), as well as a heaping load of guilt for believing that it really was all her fault, just as she had always been told.
And on the plus side, my wife now doesn’t nag me at all about spending so much time on JTRForums.com. I just love happy endings.
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