the biggest conspiracy ever?

There is a kennedy assassination joke id heard years ago but forgotten till i read it again recently....
On the day of judgement,all the kennedy assassination conspiracy nuts got together and arranged for an interview with god....god granted them an interview....they asked "god ,tell us who were the conspirators who killed kennedy?" god replied "im only going to tell you this one time,so listen well....oswald killed kennedy and he acted ALONE"........the conspiracy nuts shuffled their feet nervously ,nudged each other and said" gee, this conspiracy was a lot bigger than we thought"
A small list of all the groups suspected of planning,plotting ,carrying out the assassination of kennedy follows.....C.I.A.....mafia...F.B.I...Secret service...naval intelligence...K.G.B.....american communists....anti castro cuban exiles...u.s army....military indudtrial complex.....dallas police dept....dallas morning news...texas oilmen....minutemen....mossad...american right wing ....red china....french oas....republican partiy of omaha...catholic church....u.s dept of agriculture...exiled czarist russians....teamsters...KKK...members of hitlers staff who escaped from nazi germany at the end of ww2....and last but not least martians or venusians......and of course the illumanati(mustnt forget them)
individuals suspected/named include..........james angleton....guy bannister....lyndon johnson....george bush(senior)....carlos (the jackal)...hale boggs...bobby baker........the 3 tramps...fidel castro......harry dean...david ferrie....sam giancana.....e.howard hunt...h.l.hunt....jimmy hoffa...nikita kruschev....robert maheau.....carlos marcello...howard hughes...j.edgar.hoover...joseph milteer...aristotle onassis...kim philby...johnny roselli....jack ruby...clay shaw....saul...wernher von braun....george wallace...abraham zapruder.....umbrella man...jean rene specter....adlai stevenson.....general edwin walker.....

location from where the fateful bullets were fired from...
book depository building (not from the window oswald fired from).... dal-tex building.....county records building....grassy knoll....railroad over pass.....the follow up car in the motorcade....from inside kennedys limousine....a manhole on elm street...storm drain near the northend of triple overpass...the pergola..... it seems so many people from so many locations all wanted to kill kennedy at the same time..its a wonder there was any room left for the spectators!!
a list of the assassins ................gus abrams....black dog man...eugene brading...carlos (again)....patrick dean...david ferrie franklin folley (frank sinatras drummer no less)....william greer...loran hall....george hickey....joseph milteer...lyndon johnson (again).....martin bormann......lucien sarti....manuel rivera.....j.d tippit...roscoe white....louie witt.......dave yarras...john lennon.....the list is endless i suspect....
number of shots fired?.....thay range from 2-14....one conspiracy nut has gone even further...conspiracy theorist george thomson resolutely believes that 22 shots were fired in dealy plaza and whats more he can prove it....im surprised no-one has accused jacqueline kennedy of knocking her husband off......but give it time,im sure someone will find evidence to support that idea..
Does anybody have any other names,locations ,theories to add to the list?

[Robert Linford]

Well, I've always had my suspicions of Harry Worth. If you remember, the Harry Worth Show went ahead after the announcement of the assassination, just as if nothing had happened....or as if Harry already knew about it.

As for where from, definitely the UK, as Harry was a very British comic.

How many shots? The chances of hitting someone in Dallas with a gun fired from the UK are so vanishingly slim, several million bullets would have to have been fired to give a reasonable expectation of success.

'Arry Werf? remember at the beginning of every episode hed do the "shop window act"..he was deemed very funny back then.....didnt he have a catchphrase ? im sure he did but cant recall it.
As for 'Arry killing Kennedy ,well why rule him out? I think hed be "more likely" than lyndon johnson to have done it anyway.....or oswalds pet dachshund

[Howard Brown]

I remember that joke Doug.

I got one for ye...

Kennedy woke up on the day of his trip to Texas and grumbled..

Jackie rolled over and asked, "Whats the matter,Mr. Marital Fidelity?"

JFK said, "Oh, I dunno Jackie...I don't really wanna go down to Texas...they're so provincial and well....I just don't wanna go !"

Jackie rubbed the rake's back and said, "There,there...Mr. First in War,Peace and some other woman's bed...think of it this way. Taking the trip ought to be a good thing. You'll get to see the locals and maybe even get more open minded."

JFK answered, "Oh nuts. I need this trip like a hole in the head !"

That was quite funny How......tasteless maybe....but funny all the same......maybe there should be a "kennedy assassination joke" thread on here..there must be lots flying around.....trouble is these days if you make a joke about almost anything,then someone ,somewhere gets offended.
regards

[Howard Brown]

trouble is these days if you make a joke about almost anything,then someone ,somewhere gets offended.-Doug


One ear and out the other,Doug. I hate the Kennedy's and their bullshit "mystique".

I agree entirely,The Kennedy clan (or some of them) are a rather obnoxious crowd,but they seem to be American "heroes"...Camelot and all that stuff. Though edward kennedy was almost a superman....I mean how many people could swim underwater for half a mile blind drunk?.............And get people to believe it!

[Chris G.]

Originally Posted by Robert Linford

Well, I've always had my suspicions of Harry Worth. If you remember, the Harry Worth Show went ahead after the announcement of the assassination, just as if nothing had happened....or as if Harry already knew about it.

As for where from, definitely the UK, as Harry was a very British comic.

How many shots? The chances of hitting someone in Dallas with a gun fired from the UK are so vanishingly slim, several million bullets would have to have been fired to give a reasonable expectation of success.

Do you remember the thick glasses Harry Worth used to wear? He couldn't have seen through the rifle scope and hit Kennedy with those. Whatever happened to Harry Worth anyway?

Chris

[Robert Linford]

Hi Chris

Apparently he died in 1989.

I feel that Harry could have hit Kennedy if Bob "Golden Shot" Monkhouse had helped him.

"Up a bit...left a bit...right a bit..."

[Chris G.]

Originally Posted by Robert Linford

Hi Chris

Apparently he died in 1989.

I feel that Harry could have hit Kennedy if Bob "Golden Shot" Monkhouse had helped him.

"Up a bit...left a bit...right a bit..."

They may have needed to have been bankrolled by Huey "Double Your Money" Green though.

Chris