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5 Questions to Stan Russo

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  • 5 Questions to Stan Russo

    FIVE QUESTIONS FOR STAN RUSSO:


    1. Are you aware that in addition to ritual sacrifice ( ripping hearts out on an altar...sort of like my first marriage)...that the Aztec priests practiced open buggery ? In your esteemed opinion,does this or does it not tend to make you think that a Hungarian gene pool was at work in the formation of Meso-American civilization?.... Cortez once, when marching through the jungles of Oaxaca with his soldados de Conquista reflected on the heavy odor of garlic,paprika,and Valium seemingly oozing through the pores of the hairy native females. Please elaborate.

    2. What in your opinion is the most overrated Oscar winner for best film ? Mine would have to be between Butch Cassady & The Sundance Kid...Oliver!...or Chariots of Fire..or anything with that Meryl Streep.....Please extrapolate.

    3. To me, the most underrated and overlooked event in history is the decision made by the East European Chazars ( sort of like Hungarians,but with a sense of direction and purpose) to follow Judaism instead of Buddhism. Give me an example of an event with monumental importance that has been overlooked. Please extricate.

    4. Germans & other Europeans make fun of it...no,not our body parts... Our beer.
    Please give us an example of an underrated American beer that has more belch for the buck. Please exasparate.

    5. Since you are engaged to be married,this leaves a huge hole...er, void,that needs to be filled in the Big Apple. What will the women of Flatbush,Bensonhurst,and Upper 42nd Street do to occupy themselves in the absence of the Big Provolone? Please emancipate.

    Thank you ,sor.

    By the way.....howzabout a heads up on the next book? Please eviscerate.


    ...........and Stan's answers:
    How,

    1 - This could be one of the funniest and weirdest questions I have ever been asked to answer, but here goes. Meso-American civilization derives from Asia. No humans were indigenous to the Americas, yet for some unknown reason as of yet, Asians migrated across the Bering Sea-Land bridge to Alaska and migrated South. The time frame for this is approximately 25,000 years ago. This is where you get the groups referred to as Native Americans. The Meso-American civilizations, such as the Maya and the Aztec, to name the two most prolific, are simply groups that continued migrating southward.

    To prove this as an incontrovertible fact, DNA links between Native Americans and Meso-Americans to modern day Asians, of the Mongoloid race, have been verified. The immediately visible connection has its root in the consumption of alcohol. Humans have specific enzymes to aid them in the metabolism of alcohol. However, members of the Mongoloid race are deficient in one specific enzyme in this process, which exists within them in an inactive form. This inactive enzyme forces an increase in acetaldehyde, which results in the common visual occurrence of flushing of the face, producing a reddening effect. This does not occur only in humans indigenous to Asia, but also in those humans who share genetic commonalities with indigenous Asians, such as the Polynesians, Eskimos, Native Americans and Meso-Americans. As always, life exists within a vacuum with its relation to hooch.

    So in response to your question, there is definitive evidence that the Meso-Americans are Asiatic in origin, yet I would not rule out the possibility that there is some Hungarian in their gene pool. The Finns have genetic roots that link them to the Koreans, specifically with regards to their language. This can be attributed to the Magyar invasions during the Dark Ages. One interesting connective side note is that the Magyars eventually became what is now known as the Hungarians, in the 10th century CE. The inevitable conclusion would have to be that since the Magyars are of Asiatic origin and the Meso-Americans are also of Asiatic origin, the "Hungarian" gene pool would exist within Meso-American society. The problem with stating it as simply as that would be in marginalizing anthropological standards to highlight what has become bastardized into a basic cultural issue.

    As far as open buggery is concerned, to each their own and keep it away from my dinner.

    2 - First and foremost, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was nominated for Best Picture but lost out to one of the great modern classics, Midnight Cowboy. As far as most overrated Oscar winner for Best Film, that is a truly difficult question to answer. Here is why.

    There are a number of Best Picture winners that are not highly regarded at all. They include The Broadway Melody (1929), Cimarron (1931), Around the World in Eighty Days (1956) and Oliver (1968). Without a doubt the biggest piece of crap to win a Best Picture award was The Broadway Melody from 1929. It is tough to consider that film overrated simply because few critics or movie fans believe it is a good film. The same holds true for Cimarron, Around the World in Eighty Days and Oliver.

    I personally despise An American in Paris, from 1951. The movie is one of the most vain pieces of crap I have ever seen. It could have been a ninety minute dance-a-thon with Gene Kelly simply staring at himself in the mirror and it would have been better, because the awful story used to implant itself into a autobiographical Kelly love fest would not have been inflicted upon audiences. However, many people love this movie, but I doubt they would love watching a film like Goodfellas on the Broadway stage. That juxtaposition generally shows the biases within critiquing film.

    If you are talking about biggest Oscar mistakes, it would be hard to not mention How Green Was My Valley beating Citizen Kane in 1941. That is viewed as the biggest mistake because of the drooling over and for Citizen Kane from the cinema elite. My personal choice would be for the 1958 Best Picture winner Gigi winning out over two films that weren't even nominated that year, Vertigo and Touch of Evil. Of course, those last two films could not win without being nominated, yet when looking back upon the history of cinema, the massive chiasm between Touch of Evil or Vertigo and Gigi makes one simply shake their head in disbelief. Other crazy mistakes on the Academy's part was honoring Dances With Wolves (a decent film) over Goodfellas in 1990, The Apartment (a funny film) over Psycho in 1960, All the King's Men (an okay film) over The Third Man in 1949, The Greatest Show on Earth (an enjoyable film) over High Noon in 1952 and your example, Chariots of Fire (a nice film) over Reds and over Raiders of the Lost Ark (by far the best action movie ever made) in 1981.

    3 - Now this is an even tougher question to answer. To be honest, there are subtle events within the scope of history that have not yet been proven to be intricately important to the modern world. The more historians discover the past the more informed we get regarding those minute events that helped change and shape the world we know today.

    For me, two often overlooked events have undoubtedly presented the world we know today. The brief but impactful reign of the originator of monotheism, Pharaoh Amenhotep IV, or as he wished to be referred to as, Akhenaten. A fourteenth century BCE prince and eventual Pharaoh, Akhenaten's monotheism, which lasted for approximately seventeen years only, is widely regarded as having been the forerunner to the monotheistic society that envelops the majority of the world today. There are also numerous theories behind the possibility that Akhenaten was either the factual basis for the mythological Moses, or even that he was Moses. Considering the historical and chronological similarities, this would make the introduction of Monotheism by Akhenaten one of the most important and still overlooked events in recorded history.

    Another widely under appreciated event in history was the treaty signed by King Charles III of France, known as Charles the Simple, which made the Viking marauder Rollo (Ganger Hrolf) loyal to him in exchange for not destroying and pillaging their Kingdom. Within this treaty, Rollo agreed to swear allegiance to Charles the Simple in return for control of lands that included Normandy. The descendants of Rollo the Viking, of Norwegian descent, became known as the Normans. The most famous Norman of history was William the Conqueror, whose taking over of England in 1066 is generally recognized as the one of the pivotal turning points in modern history.

    The clearly overlooked aspect of the 911 CE treaty involving Charles the Simple and Rollo the Viking is the establishment of feudalism, which shaped the history of not only Europe but also Western civilization. The eventual elimination or abolishment of feudalism helped lead the Western World out of the Dark Ages into the Middle Ages and helped prepare humanity for a move toward such greater civilized ages to follow, once the worth of a human being became an issue of major importance, moving away from strictly lords and feudal serfs.

    I am sure I am overlooking other monumental events, just as historians have for centuries. The original attempts at Protestant reformations, by John Wyclif of England and Jan Hus of Bohemia come to mind, which are always overlooked by the eventually successful reformation in Germany started by Martin Luther. The 16th century slave trade having been taken over by the English pirate and scoundrel John Hawkins. Without his extreme profiteering, in the name of country, the African / North American slave trade may have died out with its originators, the Portuguese.

    4 - MMMMM - BEER. One of the issues with German or European beer is that it is much fresher than beer served in America. For some reason, the bottle of Budweiser that someone drinks in America is shelved for mass production and gets to your gullet approximately 8 months after it is brewed. At least that was the case when I was in my beer drinking days. Budweiser in Europe is even better than it is here, because they brew it and serve it, rather than mass produce it and shelve it for mass profit. That may sum up the difference between European and American beer.

    For me, my favorite beer is Killian's Irish Red or Bass. If I were to choose an American beer, two brands immediately come to mind, Pete's Wicked Ale or McSorley's. The general beers such as Bud, Michelob and Miller are all swill. Three beers I will not drink are Rolling Rock, Red Stripe or Coors Light. Those three are beyond swill. The best beer I ever tasted was a Micro Brew from Oregon - Rogue's Dead Guy Ale. I'm not sure they make it anymore or make enough of it where pubs would carry it on tap.

    5 - I am sure that all the single ladies are breathing sighs of relief that I am now off the market.

    Stosh
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