**Someone Wants To Buy The Forums**

[Sam Flynn]

I am quite happy that the Lechmere theory is the only theory that does get to the bottom with the Ripper case.

I've got that sinking feeling right now, Fish

[Christer Holmgren]

Or the Lechmere which ... tends to fall into whirlpools where it goes round and round in circles before disappearing.

... telling it apart from all other theories, yes. In fact, I am quite happy that the Lechmere theory is the only theory that does get to the bottom with the Ripper case.

[Gary Barnett]

I'll leave them on my bedside table, How can pick them up when he drops off the mug.

Edit: The posting reward actually kicked in with this post. How had my carpet cleaned for the ridiculous price of only 12p. And it was a big, big carpet.

[Robert Linford]

Gary Barnett will be sending you a box of Milk Tray.

[Howard Brown]

Since the email from Sunday, no response to my email asking them how they heard of us....which is just as well.

In 53 days, The Forums will be 10 years old.

[Paul Colwell]

Lovely gold chain on the George Hutchinson's anchor though! You couldn't make that up!

[Sam Flynn]

NEW SEASON BROCHURE

The Eddowes Shawl - No bow, remainder poop. See p8
The Tumblety - Come rough or swell, he handles them well. See p15
The Kozminsky - "Weigh anchor!", as the Rev Spooner might say. See pp21-22 (stuck together)
The Cadoche - Holed below waterline. Needs treatment. See p34
The Bachert - Prominent jib. See p8, p15, p16, pp21-22, p30, p34 and p50

[Robert Linford]

THE GEORGE HUTCHINSON - "He looked at me stern - and me stem - no sale."

[Robert Linford]

It is in fact not a yacht, but a raft, captained by a Fish and a Stow-away.

[Paul Colwell]

Yes, that's a fault many people have reported with the new "Lechmere". It promises much but remains in the doldrums at this time.

[Robert Linford]

Or the Lechmere which has an old tarpaulin for a sail, an unconvincing Mizen mast, and tends to fall into whirlpools where it goes round and round in circles before disappearing.

[Paul Colwell]

Fantastic Robert

But I would suggest also the second-hand "Lechmere" that has only ever been used for short runs to work, or the "Eddowes' Shawl" which has had several unbelievably careful owners!

[Robert Linford]

The Druitt - sinks like a stone. Avoid.

The Dreadnought. Sunk by nonsense. Avoid.

The Jill the Ripper. Out of action. Currently having her bottom scraped.

The John McCarthy. Very run-down vessel. Excellent at repelling boarders.

The James Maybrick. False log book. Avoid.

The Thomas Bond. Flying boat. Bumpy landing. Avoid.

The Mary Kelly. Leaky from holes. Boiler melted. Avoid.

The Kim Jong Un. Ridiculous crow's nest, but very good on rigging.

The lust murderer. Fire down below. Avoid.

[Jerry Dunlop]

JTR Forums:

Boats for sale.

Lechmere- Two boats for the price of one. Also available in the Cross model. Stays it's course absolutety, except to go up to Hanbury street. Must provide alternate name for proof of ID. $200,000L

The Kosminski- A fine boat for someone interested in making a buck or two. DNA results prove this boat to be a descendant of The Mary Kelly. The kitchen nook has a free daisy runner on the table (stained). 4,000,000,000L (not negotiable)

Prince Eddy- Only sold at our 19, Cleveland Street dealer. Complete with a crew of telegraph boys and the 1888 Captain of the Year, Lord Euston. This ship is men only. 100,000L and 10% discount with "poses plastiques" card.

The American Quack- This sailboat will be available on November 9th, 1888. That is if the captain is released by then. Or was he? Never mind. Contact Walter Andrews for pricing and more information. Canada 777-676-9898 or New York 888-989-3434

[Gary Barnett]

After launching their new range of buoyancy aids JTRF Yachting enjoyed a three-fold increase in turnover.

Proprietor Tristram Brown told our reporter, 'We were facing some stiff competition but we managed to pull ahead.'