Monty Reincarnated?

[Caroline Brown]

I wish to report that Mr and Mrs Brown of Sidmouth have reason to suspect that our cat Monty has lived before. We have confided in our local West Country MP, Hugh Jarse, and trust him not to spread it abroad that Monty's family believe he could be Jack the Ripper reborn.

The other morning, after a night out hunting for vulnerable creatures, Monty looked at us sheepishly, surrounded by blood smears all over our conservatory floor, and he had used the doormat to cover up the worst of the gore. No other remains were in evidence except a small organ we believed was the kidney of a poor old bird or frightened mouse. We don't know what happened to the other one, but have asked the neighbours to look out for him nipping across the road to the Post Office.

Love,

Caz
X

[Anna Morris]

WONDERFUL observation! Thank you so much for sharing!

(That odd bit of innards is probably from a rodent. My cats leave those things from gophers and voles. Also, my veterinary described cats as murderers on four legs.)

[Gary Barnett]

I wish to report that Mr and Mrs Brown of Sidmouth have reason to suspect that our cat Monty has lived before. We have confided in our local West Country MP, Hugh Jarse, and trust him not to spread it abroad that Monty's family believe he could be Jack the Ripper reborn.

The other morning, after a night out hunting for vulnerable creatures, Monty looked at us sheepishly, surrounded by blood smears all over our conservatory floor, and he had used the doormat to cover up the worst of the gore. No other remains were in evidence except a small organ we believed was the kidney of a poor old bird or frightened mouse. We don't know what happened to the other one, but have asked the neighbours to look out for him nipping across the road to the Post Office.

Love,

Caz
X

Caz,

I don't keep up with West Country politics - when did Hugh Jampton lose his majority?

Gary

[Jon Simons]

Hugh Jarse

Excellent

[Robert Linford]

It is not the first time that the cat Monty has been involved in controversy. There was the message scratched on a wooden door - "The shrews are not the men that will be blamed for nothing" - not to mention the occasion when he got into school trouble (basically he ate an entire school of fish). It is now feared that Monty may 'go' abroad, and neighbours have been issued with scoops and plastic bags.

[Gary Barnett]

It is not the first time that the cat Monty has been involved in controversy. There was the message scratched on a wooden door - "The shrews are not the men that will be blamed for nothing" - not to mention the occasion when he got into school trouble (basically he ate an entire school of fish). It is now feared that Monty may 'go' abroad, and neighbours have been issued with scoops and plastic bags.

I'd search his basket - I wouldn't be surprised if you found an 'off-beak' season ticket to Exmoor

[Anna Morris]

Caz: You have the material for a darling children's book on JtR...told through the eyes of Monty.

[Anna Morris]

It is not the first time that the cat Monty has been involved in controversy. There was the message scratched on a wooden door - "The shrews are not the men that will be blamed for nothing" - not to mention the occasion when he got into school trouble (basically he ate an entire school of fish). It is now feared that Monty may 'go' abroad, and neighbours have been issued with scoops and plastic bags.

If he had been caught scratching the message about the Shruwes onto brick or plaster we may have been able to see beneath, the work of Masons.

[Caroline Brown]

Caz,

I don't keep up with West Country politics - when did Hugh Jampton lose his majority?

Gary

Good one Gary.

Actually, our MP is one Hugo Swire, but modesty forbids me from revealing how I altered his name, printed in white letters on my election leaflet, with tippex and a felt tip pen.

Oh go on then. Basically, I changed the o to an e and the r to an n.

Simple and effective and more subtle than the person who scrawled on a long line of election posters along the main A3052 Exeter Road, using a black marker pen: HUGE TWAT.

The posters were taken down soon afterwards by some killjoy. And Hugo retained his seat by a huge arse majority.

That's the West Country for you.

Monty was in London as a lad, but I don't know whereabouts, so he could have sharpened his claws in Blackheath, Whitechapel or even mews in Chelsea.

By the way, he is insane - even for a cat - and I suspect it runs in the family.

Love,

Caz
X

[Sam Flynn]

Actually, our MP is one Hugo Swyre, but modesty forbids me from revealing how I altered his name on my election leaflet with tippex.

Oh go on then. Basically, I changed the o to an e and the yr to in.

I'd have done exactly the same.

I had to look him up, and I'm here to tell you that Huge Swine's photo on Wikipedia is right out of the Alan B'Stard style-guide. Interestingly, his ancestor was a prosperous textile trader from Liverpool, which is never a good sign...

[Chris G.]

I wish to report that Mr and Mrs Brown of Sidmouth have reason to suspect that our cat Monty has lived before. We have confided in our local West Country MP, Hugh Jarse, and trust him not to spread it abroad that Monty's family believe he could be Jack the Ripper reborn.

The other morning, after a night out hunting for vulnerable creatures, Monty looked at us sheepishly, surrounded by blood smears all over our conservatory floor, and he had used the doormat to cover up the worst of the gore. No other remains were in evidence except a small organ we believed was the kidney of a poor old bird or frightened mouse. We don't know what happened to the other one, but have asked the neighbours to look out for him nipping across the road to the Post Office.

Love,

Caz
X

Now if Monty was "ripping" across the road and not "nipping" we might have a case.


], on Flickr

[Caroline Brown]

That's very much like him, Chris!

Love,

Caz
X

[Caroline Brown]

I'd have done exactly the same.

Huge Swine's photo on Wikipedia is right out of the Alan B'Stard style-guide, and his ancestor was a prosperous textile trader from Liverpool. Just sayin'

Hi Gareth,

I had to edit my post because I got a bit carried away and spelled the swine's name wrong! I remember now it was a lot easier to alter than I thought.

Love,

Caz
X

[Anna Morris]

Concerning the little bits of gopher guts Monty leaves for you, perhaps he wants you to collect them and whip up a batch of scrapple just for him. I'm sure How could provide a recipe.

[Gary Barnett]

Concerning the little bits of gopher guts Monty leaves for you, perhaps he wants you to collect them and whip up a batch of scrapple just for him. I'm sure How could provide a recipe.

How guards his personal scrapple recipe jealously, but Jamie Oliver's version is probably not too far from the source:

"Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing..."

Whether you accompany that with couscous or quinoa is a matter of personal preference.