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Monty Reincarnated?

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  • Monty Reincarnated?

    I wish to report that Mr and Mrs Brown of Sidmouth have reason to suspect that our cat Monty has lived before. We have confided in our local West Country MP, Hugh Jarse, and trust him not to spread it abroad that Monty's family believe he could be Jack the Ripper reborn.

    The other morning, after a night out hunting for vulnerable creatures, Monty looked at us sheepishly, surrounded by blood smears all over our conservatory floor, and he had used the doormat to cover up the worst of the gore. No other remains were in evidence except a small organ we believed was the kidney of a poor old bird or frightened mouse. We don't know what happened to the other one, but have asked the neighbours to look out for him nipping across the road to the Post Office.

    Love,

    Caz
    X
    I wish I were two puppies then I could play together - Storm Petersen

  • #2
    WONDERFUL observation! Thank you so much for sharing!

    (That odd bit of innards is probably from a rodent. My cats leave those things from gophers and voles. Also, my veterinary described cats as murderers on four legs.)
    The wickedness of the world is the dream of the plague.~~Voynich Manuscript

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Caroline Morris View Post
      I wish to report that Mr and Mrs Brown of Sidmouth have reason to suspect that our cat Monty has lived before. We have confided in our local West Country MP, Hugh Jarse, and trust him not to spread it abroad that Monty's family believe he could be Jack the Ripper reborn.

      The other morning, after a night out hunting for vulnerable creatures, Monty looked at us sheepishly, surrounded by blood smears all over our conservatory floor, and he had used the doormat to cover up the worst of the gore. No other remains were in evidence except a small organ we believed was the kidney of a poor old bird or frightened mouse. We don't know what happened to the other one, but have asked the neighbours to look out for him nipping across the road to the Post Office.

      Love,

      Caz
      X
      Caz,

      I don't keep up with West Country politics - when did Hugh Jampton lose his majority?

      Gary

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Caroline Morris View Post
        Hugh Jarse

        Excellent

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        • #5
          It is not the first time that the cat Monty has been involved in controversy. There was the message scratched on a wooden door - "The shrews are not the men that will be blamed for nothing" - not to mention the occasion when he got into school trouble (basically he ate an entire school of fish). It is now feared that Monty may 'go' abroad, and neighbours have been issued with scoops and plastic bags.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Robert Linford View Post
            It is not the first time that the cat Monty has been involved in controversy. There was the message scratched on a wooden door - "The shrews are not the men that will be blamed for nothing" - not to mention the occasion when he got into school trouble (basically he ate an entire school of fish). It is now feared that Monty may 'go' abroad, and neighbours have been issued with scoops and plastic bags.
            I'd search his basket - I wouldn't be surprised if you found an 'off-beak' season ticket to Exmoor

            Comment


            • #7
              Caz: You have the material for a darling children's book on JtR...told through the eyes of Monty.
              The wickedness of the world is the dream of the plague.~~Voynich Manuscript

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Robert Linford View Post
                It is not the first time that the cat Monty has been involved in controversy. There was the message scratched on a wooden door - "The shrews are not the men that will be blamed for nothing" - not to mention the occasion when he got into school trouble (basically he ate an entire school of fish). It is now feared that Monty may 'go' abroad, and neighbours have been issued with scoops and plastic bags.
                If he had been caught scratching the message about the Shruwes onto brick or plaster we may have been able to see beneath, the work of Masons.
                The wickedness of the world is the dream of the plague.~~Voynich Manuscript

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Gary Barnett View Post
                  Caz,

                  I don't keep up with West Country politics - when did Hugh Jampton lose his majority?

                  Gary
                  Good one Gary.

                  Actually, our MP is one Hugo Swire, but modesty forbids me from revealing how I altered his name, printed in white letters on my election leaflet, with tippex and a felt tip pen.

                  Oh go on then. Basically, I changed the o to an e and the r to an n.

                  Simple and effective and more subtle than the person who scrawled on a long line of election posters along the main A3052 Exeter Road, using a black marker pen: HUGE TWAT.

                  The posters were taken down soon afterwards by some killjoy. And Hugo retained his seat by a huge arse majority.

                  That's the West Country for you.

                  Monty was in London as a lad, but I don't know whereabouts, so he could have sharpened his claws in Blackheath, Whitechapel or even mews in Chelsea.

                  By the way, he is insane - even for a cat - and I suspect it runs in the family.

                  Love,

                  Caz
                  X
                  I wish I were two puppies then I could play together - Storm Petersen

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Caroline Morris View Post
                    Actually, our MP is one Hugo Swyre, but modesty forbids me from revealing how I altered his name on my election leaflet with tippex.

                    Oh go on then. Basically, I changed the o to an e and the yr to in.
                    I'd have done exactly the same.

                    I had to look him up, and I'm here to tell you that Huge Swine's photo on Wikipedia is right out of the Alan B'Stard style-guide. Interestingly, his ancestor was a prosperous textile trader from Liverpool, which is never a good sign...
                    Kind regards, Sam Flynn

                    "Suche Nullen"
                    (F. Nietzsche)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Caroline Morris View Post
                      I wish to report that Mr and Mrs Brown of Sidmouth have reason to suspect that our cat Monty has lived before. We have confided in our local West Country MP, Hugh Jarse, and trust him not to spread it abroad that Monty's family believe he could be Jack the Ripper reborn.

                      The other morning, after a night out hunting for vulnerable creatures, Monty looked at us sheepishly, surrounded by blood smears all over our conservatory floor, and he had used the doormat to cover up the worst of the gore. No other remains were in evidence except a small organ we believed was the kidney of a poor old bird or frightened mouse. We don't know what happened to the other one, but have asked the neighbours to look out for him nipping across the road to the Post Office.

                      Love,

                      Caz
                      X


                      Now if Monty was "ripping" across the road and not "nipping" we might have a case.


                      ], on Flickr
                      Christopher T. George, Lyricist & Co-Author, "Jack the Musical"
                      https://www.facebook.com/JackTheMusical/ Hear sample song at https://tinyurl.com/y8h4envx.

                      Organizer, RipperCon #JacktheRipper-#True Crime Conferences, April 2016 and 2018.
                      Hear RipperCon 2016 & 2018 talks at http://www.casebook.org/podcast/.

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                      • #12
                        That's very much like him, Chris!

                        Love,

                        Caz
                        X
                        I wish I were two puppies then I could play together - Storm Petersen

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Sam Flynn View Post
                          I'd have done exactly the same.

                          Huge Swine's photo on Wikipedia is right out of the Alan B'Stard style-guide, and his ancestor was a prosperous textile trader from Liverpool. Just sayin'
                          Hi Gareth,

                          I had to edit my post because I got a bit carried away and spelled the swine's name wrong! I remember now it was a lot easier to alter than I thought.

                          Love,

                          Caz
                          X
                          I wish I were two puppies then I could play together - Storm Petersen

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Concerning the little bits of gopher guts Monty leaves for you, perhaps he wants you to collect them and whip up a batch of scrapple just for him. I'm sure How could provide a recipe.
                            The wickedness of the world is the dream of the plague.~~Voynich Manuscript

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Anna Morris View Post
                              Concerning the little bits of gopher guts Monty leaves for you, perhaps he wants you to collect them and whip up a batch of scrapple just for him. I'm sure How could provide a recipe.
                              How guards his personal scrapple recipe jealously, but Jamie Oliver's version is probably not too far from the source:

                              "Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
                              Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
                              Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
                              Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing..."

                              Whether you accompany that with couscous or quinoa is a matter of personal preference.

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