The Minor Annoyances of Modern Life!

[Stephen Thomas]

When I HAVE PRESSED THE BUTTON and have patiently waited at some trafic lights, when some knobjob comes along and then presses the button, like i hadnt thought of it then looks all smug when the lights change, at the point they WOULD HAVE ANYWAY!!!

Then there are the idiots who don't press the button and wonder why they have to wait half an hour for the lights to change.

[Wicker Man]

People who drive in the passing-lane ...AT...the speed limit!!!

It's the passing-lane for goodness sakes. Everyone's passing them on the inside, that drives me insane...


Oh, and picking up the phone to hear.... "Hello, how are you?"

I told one guy, "there's only two people who ask how I am, those who know me, and those who want something.... Which are you?"

That sort of put an end to that call.

[Magpie]

When I HAVE PRESSED THE BUTTON and have patiently waited at some trafic lights, when some knobjob comes along and then presses the button, like i hadnt thought of it then looks all smug when the lights change, at the point they WOULD HAVE ANYWAY!!!

Same issue, but more with elevators. I mean, the frickin' thing lights up so you know it's been pushed.

[String]

But when you push it again the wee computer knows you are in a hurry and makes the elevator come down quicker.

[Magpie]

But when you push it again the wee computer knows you are in a hurry and makes the elevator come down quicker.

Oh, well that's okay then

Another thing that bugs me about elevators. When the elevator doors open and some schmuck steps out--and stops to look around to see where they are. Surely you can walk a couple of feet past the doors before stopping to orient yourself instead of blocking the way for everyone else!


On the other hand, you can entertain yourself by playing the elevator game, ehehe:

1) get on the elevater, turn to face the door.
2) remain absolutely still and silent until you reach your floor
3) as soon as the door opens, confidently stride out the door without looking at any of your fellow passengers
4) see how many people will blindly follow you out of the elevator and how long it takes them to figure out they are on the wrong floor.

(works best if you work in a building like mine where you know you are the only person in the elevator getting off on that floor).

I think it's a subtle and mild form of hypnosis.

[Belinda]

Shops that won't take cheques

[String]

Shops that won't take cheques

Is that shops that don't take your cheques or shops that don't take anyones cheques?

[Belinda]

Both

[Livia Trivia]

Telemarketers, debt collectors, surveyors, banks
(or scammers) offering to lower credit card interest and
charities that sell their mailing lists.

Capital One is a real pain in the arse. I get at least
one credit card offer per week from them at 18-21%
interest. Yeah, that's a deal. This has been going
on for years, so I finally started ripping it up, putting
it in the postage pre-paid envelope and sending it back.

We have no debt and we don't use credit cards...
ever. Verizon (or someone claiming to be from Verizon)
has been calling 2-3 times a day for the past few weeks
offering an upgrade, using a different 800 number
every time. The first call, no one speaks and the call
is disconnected. Then they call back (using another
number). I now have a revolving list of blocked 800
numbers, which I have to update every few days
since my phone service (which is not Verizon) only
allows 12 blocked numbers.

The Do Not Call Registry is a joke.

[Howard Brown]

Liv:

Been getting that Verizon FIOS upgrade offer too...
The Do Not Call Registry is a joke
Amen,sister.

[Robert Linford]

Ridiculous sayings like "I'm here for you."

[Livia Trivia]

People that allow their animals to piss and crap
on other people's property.

For a few years from April til September,
we had a problem with either feral cats or
pets pissing on the concrete
apron that surrounds our house. When the sun hit
it, the smell would permeate the house even with
the windows shut. It was like living in a dirty cat
litter box. It was so bad, even our food tasted like
cat piss. After trying several commercial products
that didn't work, I found a concoction online that neutralized
the smell (hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, any orange
flavored cleaning product with no ammonia in it and
water) but still had to wash down the outer foundation
and the front steps every day, sometimes twice.
I called every available agency to try and get the
cats removed, but they all said the same thing...
you're on your own. They recommended buying
humane traps (upwards of $30 each) and then
bringing them to a shelter, but the shelters told
me they would not take them. We tried
scaring them off the property whenever we saw them,
chasing them, yelling at them etc. They weren't fazed.
Even firecrackers thrown in their direction (but not
at them) didn't help. They just waited until we went
indoors. Finally, after three or so years of this, I
bought a bale of chicken wire and cut strips of it to
lay over the apron and bent bits of it upward so the
cats could not walk or lay on the apron. I also
liberally sprinkled cayenne pepper around the property
to keep them away. It worked. Last year and
this year, although the cats still come and go through
the yard, they stay away from the apron.

We live on a street that leads to a local beach and
every evening after dinner, there are at least a dozen
or more dog owners who take their dogs up to the beach
for a walk. I've caught several of them allowing
their dogs to cock a leg on the corner of our
picket fence. We've had to replace or repaint areas
of the fence every year, because once one dog
marks his territory, every other dog that passes
marks in the same spot. One day while unloading
groceries, this woman was just about to let her
dog piss on the fence while I'm standing six feet
away. I told her if she did, I'd follow her home and
piss on her porch. She told me it was ok if her
dog pissed on the fence, because urine is sterile
and she knew this because she's a nurse! She walked
away and allowed it to piss on my neighbor's lawn.
On a side street around the corner from us, someone
has nailed an old mailbox to a tree and stuffs it
with plastic grocery bags. There's signs on surrounding
trees telling people to pick up their dog's mess.
I bought a product called "Bitter Apple" and have to
spray the corners of the fence and reapply it when it
rains. Yeah, I know. It's not the fault of the animals,
it's the fault of their ignorant owners. But that still
doesn't make it anymore pleasant picking up turds
off the sidewalk.

But it gets worse. On the corner, there's a seafood
joint that was issued a liquor license two years ago.
Their parking lot is small so the overflow parks on
our street. So during the summer, we have rowdy
drunks slamming doors and carrying on in the wee
hours. I sometimes like to sit on the front porch
and have a smoke on balmy summer nights with
the lights off. One night I'm sitting there and
a guy gets out of his car and walks into the
shrubbery between my house and my neighbors.
I hear his zipper, so I wait until he's midstream
and yell, hey don't piss in my yard! He said
thanks a lot lady, I just pissed all over my new
Nikes.

And it happened again! Different guy. This time
I waited while he adjusted himself and before
he started to pee and said quietly, last time I saw
something like that it had an eraser on the
end of it. He caught himself in his zipper,
words were exchanged, he staggered back to his car,
put the light on and extricated himself. I
laughed like hell.


I don't know why the world thinks this property
is its toilet. I now keep a supply of plastic bags
on the porch. First offenders get handed a bag
with a stern talking to, second offenders (there
haven't been any yet) will be followed home
with the offensive parcel to be dumped on their
property. Or maybe smeared on their doorknob
late at night.

[WRITEFX]

You sit down to watch a factual programme on the tv and within the first few minutes you are shown everything that is coming up. RUINS IT. Why do we want to know everything in advance, where's the anticipation?

Then the same happens at the end of each segment before the ad breaks.

Even BBC is dividing it's programmes in sections and showing advance clips.

Was there such a lack of interesting footage they have to repeat everything?


On the subject of telephones. There is a very funny book called 'The To Do List' by Mike Gayle, an autobiographical book about his one year quest to do over a thousand items on his list and there is a hilarious section on his attempts to stop paying for his account with AOL, something he wasn't even using.

[String]

In a similar vein the previews of the next episode at the end of the one you are watching are hateful, it's like some giving you a summary of a book you are about to read.

[Lyn Resthal]

Dan just had to hunt for a knife in order to open a box of knives.